Today is one of those days when I woke up with my thoughts and feelings a bit mixed up. Since early in the morning I have been remembering for one reason or another my 20s, and by chance I got this initiative of this community, but more than chance, I think it is a way to put in order those thoughts and let the feelings flow.
Hoy es uno de esos días en los que amanecí con los pensamientos y sentimientos un poco revueltos. Desde temprano he estado recordando por un motivo o por otro mis 20, y casualmente conseguí está iniciativa de esta comunidad, pero más que casualidad, creo que es una forma de poner en orden esos pensamientos y dejar fluir los sentimientos.
My 20s were different from those of any girl of that age, and although I am still in the same decade as I am not yet 30, that period of my life had many complications and hard stages that allow me to be here today.
Mis 20 fueron diferentes a los de cualquier chica de esa edad, y aunque aún sigo en la misma década pues aún no cumplo los 30, ese periodo de mi vida tuvo muchas complicaciones y etapas duras que hoy me permiten estar aquí.
I was 21 years old when I was graduating as a lawyer in a prestigious university in my country, but at the same time we discovered that my mother had cancer for the second time and we had to face a process of chemotherapy for an indefinite period of time and an endless number of treatments and medical tests.
Tenia 21 años cuando me estaba graduando como abogada en una universidad de gran prestigio en mi país, pero a su vez descubríamos que mi mamá tenía cáncer por segunda vez y debíamos enfrentarnos a un proceso de quimioterapia por tiempo indefinido y un sin fin de tratamientos y exámenes médicos.
I had already started working and I was doing my best and even the impossible to be there for my mother every day, not only emotionally but also financially, because the expenses of an oncology patient are not easy.
Ya había comenzado a trabajar y hacia lo posible y hasta lo imposible por estar cada día para mi mamá, no solo a nivel emocional sino también económico, pues los gastos de un paciente oncológico no son cosa fácil.
While we were struggling with his illness, I was developing professionally. My first job was a great learning opportunity for me, I shared with people that I became very fond of and I can say that we made a very nice bond of friendship, I got along very well with my bosses and everything apparently went well.
Mientras luchabamos con su enfermedad, yo me desenvolvía profesionalmente. Mi primer trabajo fue para mí una gran oportunidad de aprendizaje, compartía con personas a las que les tome mucho cariño y puedo decir que hicimos un vínculo de amistad muy bonita, me llevaba muy bien con mis jefes y todo aparentemente iba bien.
However, the expenses, the country's economic problems, and a growing frustration of feeling that I had reached the maximum of learning in that place made me look for other horizons.
Sin embargo los gastos, los problemas económicos del país, y una creciente frustración al sentir que profesionalmente había alcanzado el máximo de aprendizaje en ese lugar me hicieron mirar otros horizontes.
I started several interview processes and was selected in a well known transnational accounting firm. It was the month of February, I remember clearly that Carnival weekend was approaching, I had to quit my job before February 28th to start at the transnational company on March 1st. I discussed it many times with my mother, who at that time was getting worse every day, since the job offer did not convince me, the salary did not improve and I was not allowed to go to my graduate classes that I had started immediately after graduating.
Inicie varios procesos de entrevista y fui seleccionada en una empresa transnacional muy reconocida de contadores. Corría el mes de febrero, recuerdo claramente que se acercaba fin de semana de carnaval, yo debía renunciar a mi trabajo antes del 28 de febrero para iniciar en la transnacional el 1 de marzo. Lo conversé muchas veces con mi mamá, quien en ese momento empeoraba cada día más, ya que la oferta laboral no me convencía, no mejoraba el salario y no me permitían permiso para ir a mis clases de postgrado que había iniciado de manera inmediata al graduarme.
I wanted to accept because I wanted to quit my job, but I didn't want to accept because I would have been convinced by the offer and this was the premise I heard in my mind at every moment.
Yo quería aceptar porque quería renunciar a mi trabajo, pero no quería aceptar porque me hubiese convencido la oferta y está era la premisa que escuchaba en mi mente a cada momento.
The day came to make the decision, I had to talk to my boss, however he asked to talk to me first, what I did not expect was that that day life was making a decision for me.
My boss, whom I also held in high esteem, had summoned me to ask for my resignation because he noticed my dissatisfaction at work and because of my mother's health problems, he felt that I was not one hundred percent committed.
I remember crying a lot that day because I felt that by hesitating and not making the decision I should have made, life had done it for me.
And I'm sure you must be thinking that this made it easier for me to make the decision to take the new job! But I must say it didn't.
Maybe because of immaturity, fear or insecurity, my response to the person who was in charge of my selection process did not show great interest, my lack of enthusiasm when I learned about the economic offer and how strict they were with the schedule, it was noticeable miles away, and for the second time life decided for me, and that selection process did not continue.
Llegó el día de tomar la decisión, debía conversar con mi jefe, sin embargo él pidió hablar conmigo primero, lo que no me esperaba es que ese día la vida estaba tomando una decisión por mi.
Mi jefe, a quien además le tenía gran estima, me había citado para pedirme la renuncia pues el notaba mi insatisfacción en el trabajo y por los problemas de salud de mi mamá sentía que no estaba comprometida al cien por ciento.
Recuerdo haber llorado mucho ese día por sentir que al dudar y no tomar la decisión que debía la vida lo había hecho por mi.
Y seguro debes estar pensando que esto me facilitó tomar la decisión de aceptar el nuevo trabajo! Pero debo decir que no.
Tal vez por inmadurez, temor o por inseguridad, mi respuesta a la persona que llevaba mi proceso de selección no demostró gran interés, mi poco entusiasmo al saber la oferta económica y lo estrictos que eran con el horario, se notaba a millas de distancia, y por segunda vez la vida decidía por mi, y ese proceso de selección no continuó.
My little professional experience, perhaps mixed with the personal problems I was going through at the time, did not allow me to be as decisive as I would have liked to be, so if I were 20 years old again I would make my decisions before life did it for me.
Mi poca experiencia profesional tal vez mezclado con los problemas personales que atravesaba en ese momento no me permitieron ser lo decidida que hubiese querido ser, por eso, si tuviese 20 años nuevamente tomaría mis decisiones antes que la vida lo hiciera por mi.
If I were 20 years old again, it would have been me who would have made the decision not to continue with the selection process and I would have looked like a more determined and mature person in front of this company, so as not to close opportunities for my professional life.
Si tuviese 20 años otra vez, hubiese Sido yo quien tomara la decisión de no continuar con el proceso de selección y haber quedado ante esta empresa como una persona un poco más decidida y madura, para no cerrar oportunidades para mi vida profesional.
Today, looking back on how everything happened, and the subsequent events, I am sure that I would not have accepted the job offer from the transnational, but I would have been more determined.
I would have taken the initiative to talk to my boss and discuss with him my insecurities and frustrations, and very possibly we would have reached an agreement while my personal problems were being solved and not have ended our professional relationship the way it happened.
Hoy, viendo en retrospectiva como ocurrió todo, y los sucesos posteriores, estoy segura que no hubiese aceptado la oferta laboral de la transnacional, pero sería más decidida.
Hubiese tomado la iniciativa de hablar con mi jefe y conversar con el mis inseguridades y frustraciones, y muy posiblemente hubiésemos llegado a un acuerdo mientras se iban solucionando mis problemas personales y no haber terminado nuestra relación profesional de la forma que ocurrió.
If I were 20 years old again I would be less hard on myself, I would accompany my feelings and I would be comforted to know that everything will be fine, that everything will be different, but different is not always bad.
I would have freed my life from expectations that I prevent myself and that today I know that they were not real or possible to fulfill.
Si tuviese 20 años otra vez sería menos dura conmigo, acompañaría mis sentimientos y me reconfortaria al saber que todo va a estar bien, que todo será diferente, pero diferente no siempre es malo.
Hubiese liberado mi vida de expectativas que yo misma me impide y que hoy en día se que no eran reales o posibles de cumplir.
If I had made my own decisions at the age of 20, part of my personal and professional path would have been easier to follow, without guilt, without burdens, without thinking about what would happen if I had acted differently.
Undoubtedly, I believe that I would have reached my professional goals in much less time, because I had to advance in the professional world without the tutelage of who was with me in my first professional steps and who undoubtedly would have guided me to avoid fewer stumbles.
Si a los 20 hubiese tomado mis propias decisiones, parte de mi camino personal y profesional hubiese Sido más fácil de transitar, sin culpas, sin cargas, sin pensar en que pasaría si tan solo hubiese actuado diferente.
Sin duda, creo que hubiese alcanzado metas profesionales en mucho menos tiempo, pues me tocó avanzar en el mundo profesional sin la tutela de quién estuvo conmigo en mis primeros paso profesionales y quién sin duda me hubiese guiado para evitar menos tropiezos.
However, today I can say that everything is part of the experiences, that each learning allows us to form and mature not only professionally, but also in our way of seeing and facing the difficult processes of life.
Sin embargo, hoy puedo decir que todo forma parte de las experiencias, que cada aprendizaje nos permite formarnos y madurar no solo profesionalmente, sino en nuestra forma de ver y enfrentar los procesos difíciles de la vida.
Thanks for reading me.
All photos are screenshots from my social networks.
Gracias por leerme.
Todas las fotos son capturas de pantalla de mis redes sociales.
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Thank You 🤩
Hello @soysofia
My heart went out to you reading your post. I'm so sorry that you had to deal with your mom's cancer while also trying to juggle your professional life and hold your emotions in check. To be honest in my opinion your company should have perhaps been a bit more understanding of the situation - when our parents die, things tend to go a bit wonky because we are all emotional beings - it is totally understandable.
It does sound like you were very hard on yourself and at that age, I was similar so I can understand it, but it's nice to read that you now have more empathy and compassion for yourself. I think that with age comes wisdom in that regard and hopefully in the future you will be a little bit more loving and gentle with yourself.
Have a good Sunday.
Thank You @andrastia for reading my post.
I think the same as you, I consider that my boss at that time lacked empathy, but on the one hand, trying to be strong, I did not express my feelings and aspirations and that had repercussions every day in my activities, because the frustration was increasing.
However, today I can appreciate that stage because I have learned to manage my emotions better and to deal with my work aspirations when I feel that it is preventing me from growing.
I think that is the most important part ... you have used the experience to learn and evolve your character as a person for the better. In a difficult situation like that one - that is the best that you can ask of yourself.
Have a lovely day
La vida es quien nos enseña y por más planes que tengamos ella modifica el recorrido el simple logro de que te graduaste a los 21 me hace acordar de los tiempos de la vida que dice que algunos de gradúan temprano pero alcanzan las cosas tarde, pero el verdadero logro de tu graduación es que tú mamá, mi mamá logro ver la graduación de todos sus hijos a pesar de que su vida terminará a esa corta edad, yo creo que ni el 30% de las madres así duren 200 años logran todo lo que ella logro.
Claro que sí podemos cambiar algunas Decisiones que tomamos a esa edad, pero la verdadera pregunta es si valdría la pena la otra decisión? Yo creo que no yo creo que la vida igual encontraría la forma de llevarnos a dónde estamos porque es donde merecemos y debemos estar lo demás son decisiones personales cada quién sabrá si disfrutar o no del recorrido.
Saludos y bendiciones
Es así! Ese siempre fue el sueño de mi mamá, vernos a los tres graduados, y alcanzar una meta que ella por distintos motivos no pudo.
Tal como dices, al final todo lo que pasa es experiencia y esa experiencia es la que nos permite estar en el lugar que estamos.
Thank you for sharing this personal story and your thoughts.
Life is a journey and, unfortunately, it's not always pleasant. Bad things happen, as you know. However, as you also know, we learn from the experiences we have and that allows us to make changes, celebrate the things (and thoughts) we do well and to create a better future.
I think this is your first entry in the #weekend-engagement concept and I'd like to welcome you along, and to THE WEEKEND community also. I have created both as a place people can come to share of themselves, and enjoy what others share, and it's good to have you on board.
Thank you for your words and for the welcome to this community.
I had not planned to start with this post in the community but seeing this initiative I liked it a lot and I wanted to take the step.
🙂
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