Not Financial Advice

in #life2 years ago

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Daddy, can I ask you something?

The Little Lady flopped down on the sofa next to me and fixed me with the inquisitive eyes of an eight and a half-year-old.

I put my laptop to the side and gave her a hearty smile. This was the great bit about parenting. Answering all your children's questions and if in doubt making up some vaguely plausible shit so that you looked like the God of all things knowledge.

Fire away, lass. You know you can always ask me questions.

I chortled as if I were a few stones heavier and in a sitcom talking to someone about feeding my pet duck some mac 'n cheese.

What is Sheba?

She asked, a little crease on her forehead showing her puzzlement.

What the humping fuck? What kind of question was that? How the fuck would I know? Sheba? It's cat food obviously but I had a feeling that in this case, that might not be the right answer.

You know my friend, Sarla? She was the one talking about it.

She chipped in having perhaps sensed that my head was a great big whirling mass of absolute nothing.

Dammit? What the hell could it be? I racked my brains. There was precious little to rack on this subject.

Hang on, wasn't there a queen of Sheba? A long-ago queen? Yes, that was right. So it must be a place. But where? It kinda sounded African'y. But was that racist? Were you allowed to think things were African anymore?

Oh no, I had it! Wasn't it Greek? There was definitely such a thing as a Theban, so it stood to reason that Sheba was probably a singular of Sheban. Therefore Sheba was a place in Greece!

Fucking hell, I'm good. I mentally gave myself a pat on the back.

Isn't it a...

Before I could finish, the Litlle Lady stuck her bottom lip out.

She was being mean and saying I didn't have any.

I stopped myself from blurting out some rubbish about Greece.

She was teasing you about not having some of this Sheba?

I tried to sound suave and in control and not like I was going to march round to Sarla's house to give her dad a kicking for being a prick.

Yes, she said her dad bought some and he was keeping it for when she was older as it will be worth a lot more by then. She said he was dead clever and knew all about this stuff.

She looked at me slightly accusingly.

Now it was my turn to crease my brow. I was starting to think I knew what this mysterious Sheba was and if I was right, I didn't think that Sarla's Dad was really that clever after all.

In fact, if it was what I thought it was he might have all the intelligence of a Bulgarian prawn.

Darling, do you mean Shiba Inu?

I said with obvious distaste as if even mentioning the joke coin little brother of Doge made me feel sullied.

Oh Oh!! That's it. Sheba Emu! The cute dog. She said it was internet money and her daddy had bought her ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND of the coins! He told her they were going to be rich.

The pain of having no Shiba seemed to be forgotten as she recounted the tale of such internet treasure.

And she teased you for not having any?

Ones more, I fought down the urge to turn a violent shade of green and run around to Sarla's house to tear her Dad limb from limb in front of her as a just and fair punishment for crossing my daughter.

Yes, she said he really knows this stuff.

I snorted in reply and flipped to Blockfolio on my phone. It wasn't called Blockfolio now, they had renamed it to FTX but in my world, I made the rules which meant that it would always be Blockfolio.

Fuck sake, so he had spent five dollars buying a joke coin for his daughter. What a lucky girl she was.

I sparked up my favourite exchange app which listed the poor man's joke coin that was Shiba Inu.

See in this bit? Can you type one million and click 'Buy?'

I gave my phone to the Little Lady who's eyes were boggling out of her head at the thought of one million things.

She tapped it in and looked at me nervously before tapping buy after a reassuring nod from me.

I watched the trade go through.

There you go, lass. You are now the owner of one million SHIBA. Tell your friend that...

I choked off the words that I was about to say about Sarla's Dad eating arse biscuits for a living. Instead, I smiled and ruffled her hair.

Yeah, tell her you are in the club now too.


And that is why I now own 1 million SHIBA for a grand total of 30 quid. Truly, the end of days is nigh. This is most definitely not Financial Advice.

Stay informed my friends...

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Beautiful answer. You are the moon in her eyes now. Nay! The guy who made the moon! You created the sun.

Congratulations on keeping a little girl believing her daddy is the bestest ever.

But maybe don’t let her brag too much about having a lot of anything, petty and jealous girls may try to steal or upset here. Still, awesome response.

You are right. It might be best to keep that bit schtum. She might not even be believed which would probably hurt worse.

I like to provide answers. Mostly provided by Google. One day she will suss out my dark secret that I don't actually know everything!

!PIZZA

Answering all your children's questions and if in doubt making up some vaguely plausible shit so that you looked like the God of all things knowledge.

Sometimes, they actually think, they know more than you 😀 and show it - crazy - I have a 7 year old laptop that shipped with Windows 8.1 PRO. My son used to ask me, if we can upgrade it to Windows 10 AND I always told him, Microsoft has stopped supporting it. Recently we got couple of new ones, one for me and one for my son, so we gave that old one to my daughter. To my surprise couple of days back, my son told me that, he has upgraded it to Windows 10 PRO and now Windows 11 PRO. Our new laptops are not PRO...........I can feel the pride he has doing this. Kids now a days are much smarter. And the internet money is quite a buzz as well in their circle.

They are smart. Icant wait until mine become the tech gurus and leave me behind and then I can ask them about all of my tech woes and travails.

Thats pretty cool that he did that. I can imagine the pride. I feel the same when I manage something techy!

!PIZZA

Haha Sheba was a place in Greece. The name does not look like Greek 😁

It doesnt really, I was clutching at straws!! :OD

I can see where this is headed...

Part 2: After several bouts of furious fatherly one-upmanships, in which a significant proportion of the Hive community unwittingly contributes to the depletion of all liquid Shiba Inu tokens, Hive millionaire @meesterboom rages down to the humble abode of his arch nemesis in order to settle this matter in the most humblest of fashions - only to be confronted dead in his tracks by the name on the quaint Scottish tenement's doorbell: Nakamoto.

HAhahahah, thats very good. I never even saw it coming!

I think you could be right. This is a fools errand, I shall do my best to get out of this pre ordained future that has been written for me. ... Well, maybe not the millionaire part! :OD

!PIZZA

Build her a metaverse kennel and fill it with doggy NFTs. That should settle the matter once and for all.

FArk, dont even joke. As soon as she hears about NFTs she will be wanting one. Probably one on ETH that would, cost me the house!

@meesterboom - Can I be adopted by you please! LOL. Nope - such drastic measures are not required. I will buy my own Shiba Inu for 30 quid and wait with the little lady to become rich. I may die long before that happens though! However, a million of something sounds good to pass on as a legacy. So - perhaps a I will do it! 😀
Fantastic narration as always !! You are too good.

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Cheers mate!! A million things does seem like a special thing. Even if it is a million individual pieces of nonsense coins!

I shall file the adoption papers. Someone will come and pick you up, they will probably say something nice and friendly like dead or alive, you're coming with me. :OD

@meesterboom Bounty hunters coming to get me! Thought I would never get so important. Hahaha
Thanks. You really put a great twist on everything. Makes my day!

I hope to get to at least 10% of your writing skills some day! Till then I have to keep plodding along to get visibility. 😅

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You will get there. You are a fine writer. It all just takes off once you have been going a while! :O)

thank you for the kind words and the encouragement. Will keep at it!😊

I love this story. It made me giggle and started my workday off nicely. I didn't have time to comment then, because I was about to take 3 steps across the room and go to work.

That will certainly show Sarla ! Nya Nya Nya 😄

I have the same awful commute. I quite like it!

I hope it shows her but I also hope it doesn't backfire with me having to buy all manner of novelty crypto!

!PIZZA

Well.... .buying a bunch of different ones while they only cost dirt, would kind of being like buying a lottery ticket. Most will never be anything, but who knows, one day, one of them might be a winner !

That kind of sounds like everyone should do it....right ?? LOL

It kinda sounds like... Financial Advice!!!!

Lol!

If anyone takes any financial advice off of anything I say, they will go broke. That's my disclaimer.

I thought it sounded more like gambling advice.

You realise that if that becomes your disclaimer everyone who reads it will instantly assume it is legitimate get rich advice. We will all be doomed!!

More so if it's gambling!

That would be my luck. I wouldn't take my own advice and everyone would get rich except ME !

D'OH !!!

Always think of the granny in the Royal Family when I hear of Queen of Sheba. It was the name of the episode where she passed away. I was bawling my eyes out. These doggy coins annoy me. The lad that found dogecoin sold all his doge for a Honda Civic 4 years ago. A Honda Civic no less. I'd say he has some head on him now in his 4 year old Civic. Haha. I'm waiting for a Come dine with Me - Crypto edition where him , 10k Bitcoin Pizza Guy and yours truly after selling my fucking goldy monsters and urself with the punks are all disgruntled sitting around a table being angry.

Hahahaha, can you imagine what a meal that would be..

How does yours taste?

Fucking bitter and shit

Lol, it would have to be Come Fine With Me with whisky chasers!!

I used to love that show!!

Wahahaha!!!

So what you're saying is I should immediately run to my favorite exchange and purchase one hundred million Sheba Emus? Done.

But was that racist? Were you allowed to think things were African anymore?

Yes and no. I just called the racism police and reported you.

!PIZZA

You have outdone my shebanu!! I will have to buy 1 million million of them now!!!

This is turning into a costly hobby.

I knew I would be in terrible for that one. Luckily I believe in paying it forward...

!RACIST !

I wonder what kind of coin that would bestow?

You are too late! I have just now purchased the entire circulating supply of Shibby Emo! Victory is mine!

I wonder what kind of coin that would bestow?

Probably something horrible like WhitePower.

Or maybe it's the other way around, you invoke the !WHITEPOWER bot to tip in Racist tokens.

Should probably spend some more time thinking about this.

Noooooooooes! You bought all the shebanos milanos!!! I will have to find another joke coin!!

I think this subject needs a lot more thinking... hahahahahahha!!

I might lie down

I heard about a joke coin called Hive that you might be interested in. I bought a million of them for five bucks a few years ago. Doubt they're ever gonna be worth much.

HA, that shit. I bought all of the coinstwo years ago for 17 dollars then sold them for 20 cents a pop. Whos laughing now?

Hi @meesterboom , Very well, the girl has much more than those fools, I just hope that it increases its value and the girl will be the person who has the most money in your house, as a financial advisor I can give you some advice, keep that coin, it has tentacles that They can take her very far, I read and imagined the scene, you looking at your girl and you did not understand, then you do the best for her, you are a good man,I have not been wrong :)

I will keep it. I just need to find a wallet that I can keep it in for her!

Imagine if it paid off!! She is a very special girl. Worth her weight in Shiba! :0)

She is worth her weight in BTC, you are a good father, hey I'm not flattering you, I always tell the truth, I gave my mother everything she wanted, what she wanted to eat, everything, now that she is not I miss her, but I am happy having given her everything she wanted, she died 3 years ago, but I am calm because I was an excellent son with my mother, you are an excellent father with your daughter

I hope I was an excellent son! She is an excellent daughter but time will tell if I am an excellent father, lol! I am sure your mother was very proud of you :O)

Awwww what a cool dad you are Boomy, buying this joke coin just to make her happy. What if it will be worth something decades from now? I could see you laughing hard if it will . And I could imagine someone saying: dad, the Shib is mine🤣🤣

Lol. I know. It has amused me to finally be the owner of something so silly. I almost sold it earlier when it went up 20% lol. But then I remember it wasn't mine :0)

!PIZZA

Hahahahahahahahahahh I try to imagine the remorse of having to hold on to it because...the shib ain't yours and You can't touch this lalalalal🤣🤣🤣woof woof🤣🤣🤣

Lol! I bought another mill to play with and now if it did something spectacular I am laughing and she will be too! :OD

You've just got shibbed!😅😅😅 come on, admit it, you are weak for the Shibby, you can't help but buy buy🤣🤣 this is why these meme coins work, they are so hilariously unpopular for their uselessness that they become popular.

Shib Shib Sheroo!! Thats me. I have indeed been Shibbed. Although I think that maybe 2 mill is my limit!

For now!! :OD

Hahaha! Legendary! You sure showed that dad/ girl/ your daughter who is the King of Sheba!

x 1 MILLION! :OD

!PIZZA

Haha! I still won't take up on your financial advice (t)here though but I get why you did what you did here ;<)

Lol. Quite right..I wouldn't want anyone else to buy this shitcoin. It's a waste of space!!

Then buy more of it ;<)

also, the 'space' part in your reply, makes me think of Elon Musk.

Elon. The true master of the universe!! ;0)

The guy sure seems to think he is God.
Or should I say: Dog?

Blockfolio will be blockfolio for life here as well hahahah..cant get used to it and also not to the new location in my apps because of the new starting letter...Autists?? hmmm not sure..

Let us just wait until the little madame also wants some Floki Inu because she saw it on a bus somewhere. Apparently advertisements work better than we realise haha

I cant be doing with the new name at all. It sounds like a cheap mobile racing game! There was no need for it.

I hope she doesn't get wind of loads of other things and start assuming I can just buy a million of anything. I would be in right trouble! :OD

!PIZZA

Stay informed my friends...

Nice touch there!! LOL.

How can I forget?

Hahahahah, I am so glad that somone spotted that. I almost added 'Doc' :OD

!PIZZA

he is still around by the way, farms steem, lately having a long conversation with frot regarding a 'bet', won or lost I can't tell, it is quite deranged!

I knew he was steem farming. To be honest I suspected he would be reluctant to entirely leave. I will have to check it out. Ido like a bit of deranged nonsense talk!

Here's the secret to buying crypto. Buy high. I covered this in this morning's episode of #themorningbowl

You should make that a total catchphrase. Buy high nit high... lol!

!PIZZA

in doubt making up some vaguely plausible shit so that you looked like the God of all things knowledge

Really???

I guess children really ask a lot of questions.

Although, may be with time you should tell her reasons for buying coins so she doesn't buy what so ever a friend buys.

This was pretty hilarious as usual

Oh mate, they ask and ask and ask and ask until you feel like yo are going to die from answering. I might have to start telling her about crypto though. Up till now I have told her its just magic internet money. But if she starts learning about it I might have to engage. Yeek.

Maybe best to lay low and hide :OD

!PIZZA

I am so scared of parenting

Rightly so, its murder!

But it has the upside that it is also amazing :O)

Would that make you the Sultan of Shiba?

20 years from now, when Shiba Inu moons and surpasses Bitcoin ... Let's hope the little lady has the password to get at her vast fortune.

Remember folks, put your crypto passwords somewhere that your benefactors can get at in the case of your untimely demise.

She will probabaly just scream and shout at me for being so stupid as to leave her fortune on an exchange! That really reminds me, maybe I should look at a wallet for that nonsense. But the very idea of treating it as a real coin hurts!

!PIZZA

If you check the Amazon's, The Trezor was 25% off for a while .... but ... since you are rolling in Shiba, you can afford to pay full price.

As a side note, I originally thought the little lady was being sworn at by a Korean child. If you watch Squid Game, you will hear it throughout.

Shibal [씨발] is a Korean offensive word, similar to ‘Fuck’ or ‘Shit’.

This word is applicable in various situations. When used as a noun, it is same as Motherfucker.

Usually, Shibal as Frequently used as a interjection and adjective. In the following cases, Its use is exactly same as Fuck.

Source

!BEER

I just bought a new one lately. I nearly went down the Amazon route but then had the fear that it might have been tampered with so bought direct. Long gone are the days they did 3 for 2!!

I totally didn't know that. I watched Squid game but am tempted to go back through it with the Missus who was determined not to watch it. I finally convinced her to give it a bash and will be able to listen out!

!PIZZA

When I was visiting Seoul, I kept hearing what I thought was "Shit-a" ... then I found out, it essentially was ... But Sheep-ah. with a little bit of an ulll at the end.

When I jokingly explained that one way of falling asleep was counting Shibal, they found it hilarious... but that might have been the copious amounts of soju we were drinking .... I can't really remember.

In these cases it is now than ok to not remember. I have that as a place I would like to visit. If I do I will be keeping my ears peeled and perhaps not drinking! Lol

Once you get past the price of the flights. Everything else is soooo much cheaper in South Korea than almost anywhere I've been.

Every city has cheap motels - they are very clean, all rooms have a toilet, shower, mattress on the floor, and water cooler. You get your sheets and comforter at the desk when you check in - so you know it's clean.

The last time I was there, they were around $30 per night. (Google show that's still about right)

image.png

Two of us could typically go out to eat for a total of $10 for two meals and a bottle of soju.

The train system was awesome to get from city to city.

As you can tell, I'll likely be going back. ;-).

Of course, I forgot to mentions. That from the age of 5, everyone speaks better English than they speak in Scotland. :-)


Hey @meesterboom, here is a little bit of BEER from @gikitiki for you. Enjoy it!

Learn how to earn FREE BEER each day by staking your BEER.

Well her dad is clearly a man well versed in the way of crypto. Probably got a masters in finance somewhere

Maybe a Masters in Bull, I had never heard of anyone actually buying this coin aaprt from daft folk on Twitter and now here I am with a million of the buggers! Time will tell I suppose, look at Doge!

!PIZZA

The FOMO, surprisingly FOMO is the best algo-trade in crypto. As I told my friend - the only reason to have bitcoin is not to feel bad when it goes up.

The horrible thing about having Bitcoin is the opposite when it crashes to new lows. That bloody hurts!

!PIZZA

Turns out that Hive is not such a bad investment either. I think I will open Hive accounts for the kids.
Also should catch desired account names like @giant_douchebag_vs_turd_sandwich

Accountnames are definitely something that should be snapped up. There are a couple of domain squatters I vaguely remember who were hoovering up any and all names that they thought might one day be valuable!

I might actually open one up for my daughter, that would be fun for her!

Quick before @littlelady will be taken :)
Going to check now if there is @therealdonaldtrump and @thereallyrealbiden

I bet at least one of them is taken!!! I am off to check as well!

  1. I just learned that blockfolio was renamed?? To me it will always be named blockfolio!

  2. Be careful when joking about shiba! I once was downvoted hard in here by the "shiba army"

Also, it is funny how people that give financial advice always claim it is not financial advice lol

I love that the most about financial advice when people blatantly give it and then get the sudden fear that it might come back on them and put that lame disclaimer in!

I had hoped there were no Shibans in here! lol

!PIZZA

There are a bunch of shibans in here doing a lot of things EXCEPT GIVING FINANCIAL ADVICE, of course! Tread carefully! lol

!PIZZA !BEER !LUV

@igormuba, sorry! You need more to stake more $PIZZA to use this command.

The minimum requirement is 20.0 PIZZA staked.

More $PIZZA is available from Hive-Engine or Tribaldex

@igormuba, sorry! You need more $LUV to use this command.

The minimum requirement is 10.0 LUV LUV in your liquid wallet.

More LUV is available from Hive-Engine or Tribaldex

I always tread carefully right up until that point I don't! ;O)

Perhaps they might upvote me hugely for the almost shilling!

Well, if the coin gets some sort 'tweet or post or Metaverse billboard' by one of the 'powers that be' maybe you and daughter will be rolling in it :) I've only heard a bit of doge's lil joke cousin, but it does sound fun to own a million of something, so maybe I should take your non-advice ;)

Who knows we might be able to paper our rooms with USD one day, in a Zimbabwe sort of design :) Ah the financial world, more hilarious than the best comedy and darker than the most fearful horror film, eh?

Another great moment in your life shared @meesterboom

If someone up there tweets and it rises up for a moment then I am selling it all!

The Zimbabwean wallpaper. Oh yes, that might be appealing. We would need lots of them dollars to paste on though to drown out the sounds of gunfire and dogs howling through the night!

A million coins is kinda fun. I might buy another! One for her and one for me!

!PIZZA

Lol...kids are so genned up these days and top dad, but it's possible you may get into a Shiba buying war that could get expensive and with mind bogglingly large numbers involved! Lol

We have a lad of 9 and his mum who live with us temporarily , currently 4 years temporarily, anyway, he speaks great English ' normal' type as he has picked it up from me and the wife . He also specifically asked me about Shiba and then qualified it by telling me Elon Musk likes it better than Dogecoin.

And Nathen, why does Elon like shitcoins?

Kwan! Bad word.

You say it

You win.....get me a beer out of the fridge lad.

I almost cant believe it. Like it really will happen that kids will be into this shit and think its not unusual.

Its damn crazy. Its also a weird sign of how well known that is because if it was anything I was going to hear about I would have expected it to be Doge what with Elon doing all his twitter nonsense.

4 years temporary... That sounds permanent! :OD

!PIZZA

4 years temporary... That sounds permanent! :OD

One of the deciding factors in building a house on Ko Samui, 550 miles and a boat ride away ;-)

I'll miss the little lad though, at least until she sends him down for his 3 month school holiday lol

Cor blimey that is a fair distance away!

I bet there might be more than one school holiday to cover

I hope that is in the spicy food side of Thailand you are going to? :O)

At least you have a happy child that feels like a multibazillionaire and knows slightly more about crypto and possibly has bragging rights about getting to type in 1 000 000 and press buy? XD

Hehe, yes. That was my sole aim. She is happy I am happy. I like to think that if something makes yo usmile then it has to be worth it!

!PIZZA

Well no wonder Hive is flying! That is indeed going to be the attitude of this younger generation. Hell I remember hearing all about the Great Depression. These kids are growing up desperate for crypto. To the moon!

Imagine what it will be like for them if it stays a thing! They will be more crypto savvy than a half naked influencer on Twitter!

Hahaha, I just read this out loud to the Man and you should have seen the nose wrinkle like I had just let out a foul one from my booty when I said Shiba Inu!

I'm 20% up!! I will be like those kids you read about retiring before I am 30... oh, wait... :OD

Bahaha!
We're actually at a crossroads right now with one of our crypto investments- Terra Luna, we've done really well this year and right now have enough to pay off our house. And since we have a cottage attached that my mother and brother in law live in and pay rent for it would mean not only no payment on our side, but passive income from them.

Of course as soon as we make that decision it will sky rocket and we'll have missed out on the big bucks lol!
But the house is also worth more than double what we originally bought it for, so an investment on its own.

But Howie built it up once, he can do it again, he's got a good eye for finding shit coins that he knows will at least 10x before the hype dies, get in, get out. It's not a game I'd be able to play!

That's awesome! If crypto can pay off your house then you have won the game!

I must admit, I am no longer that keen on playing the holding and trading game myself much these days. It seems like a lot of effort!

Come on bro!!!! You are making this up right? This is such a good story.

Lol, thats the way it happened!

Meaning your not financial advise is often gold. I'm following you.

Lol, You might end up dirt poor! :OD

!PIZZA

I'll take my chances.

Lmao. I suppose that is as good a reason as any to buy it.

It is pretty cool though that even young children are getting involved in crypto these days. That's a good sign for longevity for sure

I thought it was downright weird. Apparently in class they are also learning about this kind of thing. I am like eh, maybe the worlds going too fast for me!

But it is cool. It would be cooler still if that shitcoin 100Xd :OD

!PIZZA

Yeah. True. I can't keep up to it all, thats for sure.

I thought of this after my original comment but your Shibu scenario reminds me of the movie Austin Powers 1, and the scene where Dr. Evil wakes up and says (paraphrase here)

Dr. Evil: "We'll hold the world randsom for.... (dramatic pause) ......
1 million Dollars!!!"

And #2 responds:

"Actually, nowadays 1 million dollars isn't really that much money."

Dr. Evil is a bit confused and is like
"Oh... ok.
Then we'll ask for .... 100.... umm... billion dollars...."

#2 nods approvingly.

That's Shibu Inu 😂

I love that scene, he has no idea how little he is asking for, lolol.

That is what Shibu is. It reminds me a little of my crypto strategy in 2017 which was to buy a massive pile of the cheapest shitcoins out there and hope that they would moon and whatdya know. A pile of them eventually did! It was a happy time :O)

There is no telling what will happen when it comes to crypto. Good luck with your shibu

Thats the good thing. If you give it long enough they die or moon come the next bull cycle.

Apart from that shitty Ziliqua I bought. It just sits there :OD

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mmmMMMmmmmm pizza ! I love it !

Thanks for letting her know what sheaba is.

Its my duty to share the Shabba knowledge! :OD

You totally win the Best Dad award! Honestly! That was so sweet! Letting her make the transaction herself? Priceless!

You are the man!

What are you going to do when she discovers Bitcoin? 😮

I shall let her buy 1 MILLION Bitcoin!!

Haha, if only. It was nice, it is helpful that they have the apps set up so that it all looks nice and easy for a kid to press.

I might even let her buy all my novelty coins!

That is really a great idea! Can you imagine how comfortable she would be with crypto, the terms, and how confident that will make her for her future?

Brilliant.

Great post boss and I gope hive keep up with the flying ways

We can but hope!

I just read your post, you have a nice story

Thank you very much!

Give her 30 HIVE from this post and she can tell her friends to play crypto catch-up. Weaponize these kids and their petty cliques to make HIVE moon like never before!

I did reserve an account for her. I should load it up with something!