That's quite the cough you got there?
My brother-in-law Stiff-Bottom remarked. We called him Stiff-Bottom because of his rampant homophobia that made him visibly clench his buttocks in terror at the merest hint of gayness in his surroundings.
As part of the last leg of our tour of Scotland, we had stopped in Dundee, home of the Good Lady's family and also where haircuts go to die.
I lifted something that looked like a sausage roll and added it to the selection of processed carbs and meat paste shapes that were already on my paper plate.
The table before me was festooned with so many forms of processed meat in pastry that it looked like an obese person had sharted in a bakers.
Just clearing my throat, bit of hayfever I think.
I nodded to Stiff-Bottom with a reassuring smile as if he were a leper and I were a roll of duct tape.
You sure, you look a little peaky?
Stiff-Bottom narrowed his eyes at me suspiciously before helping himself to something that was pretending to be sausagey from the table before us.
I look fucking magnificent you mean.
I turned away from the Dundonian fiend to make my way back to the rest of the family.
Did you do a test before you came?
The words hung coldly in the air like Anthony Bourdain on a crisp Parisian morning.
A test? Like, what kind of test? Math?
I barked in a rolling-eyed annoyance.
Math, haha. No, I mean a lateral flow test. You know, for Covid?
Stiff-Bottom said earnestly, waggling something triangular and flaky in my direction like a walrus with eczema.
Huh? Covid? What is this, 2022? Covid isn't a thing anymore, nobody tests for it.
I stuck one of their shit pastries in my mouth and chewed it enthusiastically in what I hoped was a contemptuous way.
You haven't tested?
Stiff-Bottom squawked indignantly as if I had professed to having a poster of Nicki Minaj in my attic.
Nope. Covid's done, kaput. We don't need to test.
Hmm, that seems a little irresponsible, does it not? Especially you having a cough and all?
Some other in-law of an in-law who had a face like a rabbit's beard piped up loftily from the comfortable heights of a stool in the adjoining kitchen.
I think having six of those fucking quorn scotch eggs on your plate is a little irresponsible but hey ho.
Rabbit-Beard frowned down at his pile of fake meat-wrapped eggs.
I waltzed past him into the garden stifling a little cough as I went.
The Good Lady sidled over to me as I took a chair.
God, everyone has taken a test, it is all they are talking about. I am starting to feel a little guilty that we didn't.
She looked flustered and this made my dander boil at the covid posturing of her immediate family, it was always the same with peasants from the country. Staring at the sky and muttering about thunder gods when aeroplanes flew overhead and screeching about CERN creating black holes.
Never you mind them, lass. Bloody fannies the lot of them.
I know but I feel bad, perhaps we should test when we get home just to make sure, after all, you do have a little bit of a cough?
I don't have a fucking cough but aye, ok. We will do tests when we get home.
I shook my head at all this testing nonsense. Is this what we have become?
Later at home, with much grumbling and protesting, I joined the family in a jolly old group test session.
Clear!
Shouted the Good Lady victoriously as she looked at her and the kids' results.
Told you. There was no need for this paranoid testing malarkey.
I cried.
Then I looked at my own test.
Bugger.
I need to read first before looking at the pictures. I thought you were pregnant...
Anyway. Another week off work isn't to be
sniffedcoughed at !I am pregnant!! It will be a beautiful baby bull monkey creature!! :0D
I don't mind the time off work but usually when I ain't half feart I am gonna meet the reaper!
😂
Hahah @meesterboom you do endings very well my friend. I did the same - I mean, we don't HAVE to test, the testing police isn't going to crash through the door like some Covid version of Cops or a variation of Border Security, but there is an obligation to, you know, protect your fellow human.
Because, you know, you could be at a family memorial service and have a slight tickly nose and four days later everyone starts texting you saying 'just to let you, I have COVID' and you have to keep schtum because you realise that you got it waaaay first, meaning you're the family super spreader and could possibly cause old people to die. But that's just hypothetical. Cough cough.
Now, COVID seems a conversation continuer like 'how did you get here? Did you take the a5 via... etc' except it's a litany of symptoms and how long it took to recover and who you think you got it from and how long you've had it and omg let this virus kill me because I'm bored now. And what's this bollocks about people uploading their RAT (which we call it in Australia) to Facebook and - cough cough - other socials? Show me yours and I'll show you mine?
But since you ask, it's been a month and I'm still not right. I had a long SUP up the river yesterday and it was lovely but today I'm completely floored, barely managing to unpack the dishwasher and come on Hive to complain about COVID.
Hope you are feeling better.
Hahaha, just reading that made me laugh. Finding myself in that position did amuse me once the rona had started to settle.
The bit I hate most about it is the slight niggle at the back of your head that it is a disease that can kill and despite the chances being low you wonder when you start to get the cough, will this be it?
It was quite rough for me I think this time round, the cough certainly. I am still quite short of breath which is a pain in the chuff.
The testing thing is definitely something that has to be done just so you know that you arent going about giving it to all and sundry as I would hate to inflict someone with severe illness on my conscience!
I hope you don't have the long covid and it is just a long tail before it clears. This thing sucks ass
It sure does, sorry to hear it's a rough one.
I had no idea I was even sick at the memorial... It was when I got home I started sneezing, wierdly. If I had any inkling I would have stayed at home... Luckily all my aunt's are still alive. They're funny and I like them, so that's a good thing.
I'm hoping it's the tail end too, I heard six weeks is kinda normal. I'm an active person so I find it hard to take it easy.. not like I jog or anything, but just like to get stuff done, go on little adventures etc. Covid just isn't my thing.
Yeah lungs are only JUST getting a tad better after a month. I don't know if you are keen on herbs but if you can find mullein it's meant to help shift things.
Hope you get better soon. Is this your first time?
I am glad your lungs are starting at least to feel a bit better. What is mullein? Is that an Aussie term? :O)
I like being active too. This is the second time I have had it and I think it was a bit worse than the first which was mostly just tiredness. Boo hiss to coughing and covid I say
@meesterboom Oops. Not the ending I had hoped for. Wish you a speedy recovery. It is so annoying these days that a cough gets people turned off faster than words 'I love you' or "STD". 😀
You are in brilliant form with your words as usual. Perhaps even more. "also where haircuts go to die" is a masterpiece. LOL. Does COVID enhance sarcastic wit too?
Cheers
Hola! It might enhance sarcastic wit. You would like to think that there were some advantages to it. It was quite awful this time!
@meesterboom While I look forward to the enhanced sarcastic wit, I certainly do not want the wit wielder to suffer. Wish you a very speedy recovery. We do not want the Satanic Cat Society to lose a longtime member do we? 😀
HAhahaha!! We do not! I am almost there on the recovery front. Well, at least I can pick up my phone or a laptop now!
What ??
My younger sister has covid for the 2nd time since Christmas. She said she took the test 3 times, because she just couldn't believe that she had it again. The first time she got pretty sick and it took a long time to shake, but this 2nd time is not as bad. She works at a the children's museum for goodness sakes ! I'm thinking she's going to get it every several months there. ha.....
You might want to get some ice packs for your ears, because once the family finds out, you are going to be their favorite topic for a while and you'll know by your ears burning all the time. LOL !
I hope yours is mild and over fast.
They have been informed and were very snotty about it! Thankfully most of the time was spent in the garden. Pain in the chuff though. I had kinda thought that after getting it in February I might have been immune a wee bit longer!!
Here's hoping this second time is like your sisters then!
Snotty inlaws are the worst ! ha ha... My husband was one of 15 children, so I know ALL about inlaws......way more than I'd like too.
My family on the other hand.... perfect ! 😂
I also thought the same about the antibodies and didn't expect to hear about anyone in my family that has had it since Christmas (which was a lot of them)....having it again, especially not THIS fast. Who knew? Since there are multiple strains of it, I don't know if antibodies from one strain help with another....
Then again.... there are still many people claiming it's not real, so you probably aren't really sick at all. 😏 faker !!
Yeah in-laws can bea pain and then when you get the relatives of the in-laws thrown in on top to make gatherings even more special, lol.
I better get over this fakery soon! Hehe
Hope you don't get it as bad as I did. It was like proper Man Flu! It's still pretty rampant, but people are not wearing masks generally. I think we could all get it again.
I am partial to a Quorn scotch egg, but not sure I could eat six. There are also some nice veggie 'pork' pies around. Who needs meat anyway?
!BEER
I do like a veggie style meat pie and the Quorn picnic eggs are not bad of a little dry. I do actually prefer them to the super processed meat nonsense.
I think I got away relatively easy before it doesn't quite feel the same the second time, yeek
Them are some big ole hairy hog nuts you got there.. better hope the Good Lady don't read about you calling her kinfolk peasants..
"... her immediate family, it was always the same with peasants from the country."
Ha, if there is one thing she knows about me, it's that she knows what I think of her country brethren! :0D
We will see we will see!
Seems it's only me who has escaped the deadly lurgy.., so far.
This is my second time. Can't fecking believe it as I am still quite careful. Bah, I am narked too say the least
Same bad feeling as last time? It's all alien to me.
It feels the same but slightly more coughy asked sore throaty than last time. I ask going it won't last as long as it did then
Nah! Us also sand I think that Covid is scared of us.
I wonder... Maybe that invisible monster is following you? Time to get it off your trail!
Sounds like the trip wasn't much fun?
It was fun till the COVID got me. Them the fun just fizzled away. I shall slay this beast and move onto the next!
Which one is next? Down with all diseases!!! Except for Hive addiction of course...
!PIZZA !ALIVE
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Hive addiction can stay the rear can be destroyed!!
How many legs does the monster of Loch Ness have?
So tired of this. How long are people going to continue keeping this up? Also, your test has expired, it says (20)19 ;<)
Lol. If only it has expired and was a dodgy test!
I am tired of it too. I don't want to be testing all the time and at the same time I am tired of bloody COVID!
Be careful. Fatigue is one of the ... symptoms ;<)
P.S. I can't help but feel that all these tests are dodgy
I know, I have already spent a fair amount of time in bed, meh
I hope, no I trust, that you feel better soon. Wishing you a swift recovery, buddy!
Cheers man, I have my fingers crossed for one too!!!
Good thing you got it before Sunday!! I hear on Monday anyone in range of a picture of positive results has to quarantine at a table of in-laws.
That was a close one.
Hell hath no fury like a table of in-laws!!!
I have always been lucky :0D
My wife got it back in November. I used her chapstick, water, etcetera but it didn't want shit to do with me I guess. She got the vaccine, I didn't, I told her not to but Nn0ooOo....
I've heard mixed reviews as far as symptoms, some worse than others. Had she not tested positive, wouldn't have even known but was required to test for her work. No cough or anything, minor loss of taste, that was the extent of it.
I hope yours is even easier. It's not too rough is it?
Wishing you the best.
My first one was like that, just tiredness really, this one seems a bit more pronounced. My family are all spectacularly free of it which is odd but good!
Scotland tour w/ the fam, sun's out, record breaking weather, not sure if anyone's had the heart to tell you yet but your timing is Shite!
I agree, maybe my timing belt needs jigged!!
Hi @meesterboom ,I don't understand why people can't hear that other people have a cough, you can cough for many reasons, well, I hope you enjoyed the covid testing session.
A hug
Exactly, I often cough just for attention! People need to get off the COVID high horse!
Hahhahahahahahah I say you had some head on you! I totally visualised that whole story.
At least nobody there seems to have caught it from me. Small mercies!!
I wouldn't have like the smugness on the other end when the news got out you had the rona
I might have to go up there now I am better and set them all on fire. mofos
I found that post awfully funny because I have a few Stiff bottoms in my family as well. If they are not on about the gays then are on about the "foreigners " taking over the park.
Thats my family in a nutshell. Always going on about the foreigners and the gays and shouting about them taking our jobs etc. Half of my fucking family are on the dole!
Aww...hope the nastiness vacates your person quickly! Hopefully it will stay away from the rest of the family.
That's my big selfish fear that they get it after me and I have to run about daft taking care of them!
Oops XD hope it clears up quick :)
A big oops! I shall hump it the funk away. Hopefully faster than a man can blink!
Get well soon!
Don't worry mate, I'm on it. Beer, the greatest medicine!!
Best there is!
Cheers! 🍻
At a staff lunch yesterday someone mentioned that the vaccine is everyone’s choice.
I said … “Well, you could always take the Anti-vaxer recommended Ivermectin for horse worms…. Some people have even pooped out their intestines after a few doses.”
The guy next to me laughed out his pizza through his nose. Pretty disgusting. Since the I don’t make any more COVID jokes.
News: https://www.iflscience.com/no-ivermectin-is-not-making-people-poop-out-rope-worms-the-truth-is-much-worse-60789
Information: https://www.fda.gov/consumers/consumer-updates/why-you-should-not-use-ivermectin-treat-or-prevent-covid-19
Ouch. I had read the people were taking ivermectin which is nuts but hasn't read anything yet about the negative side effects. Imagine crapping out your intestinal lining, urgh, that's horrible. But that's what happens when you follow and do quackery!
Yeah… even after this news I still see some people recommending it. People are friggin crazy. I guess it’s just part of Natural Selection though…. You do really dumb things and you don’t live very long.
I have seen people recommending it too. Nutters. But as you say, it's kinda natural selection in action. A shame though because sooner people are just easily manipulated, often the ones who shout loudest about everyone else being stupid!
No way! Worse than having it, is the fact that you will have to confess to those snotty country bumpkins.
Le sigh.
Seriously, Boom. Well, they have found that the vaccine-induced immunity wanes after several months, so more and more people are reinfected - the different variants make it a whole new flu. The siblings in my family that got it? Most have had it twice or not at all. The first time was pretty harsh, especially the ones in the very beginning, and the second time was milder than the first. That is the good news.
The bad news, is, of course, is that you will never be allowed to visit your snotty in-laws again. Score! :)
I'm sorry to hear and I hope you will be feeling right as rain soon! Don't mind me while I throw a little holy water on you.
I will need the holy water!!! Cast it out... CAST IT OUT!!
It seems a bit worse but i think that might be because I have half romantically forgotten how bad it was the first time. Tis quite annoying though as I am not exactly mixing it up here there and everywhere.
Theme the breaks though, the good thing is with the jabs that we escape the horror that the first wave inflicted on everyone. At least we can hope so!!
Damn them in-laws, they will lord it over me forever more!!!
You didn't wet yourself! That is the holy water!
I remember from your post how terrible it was, so you need to go back to appreciate how good you probably feel. I was working every day with the first wave, Some days we slept at work.
I wasn't skipping posting! See? I was working. Lucky me.
I am for sure those darn in-laws will forever remind you about your snotty little cough. You better pray none of them get it, or you will never hear the end of it. OMG!
Feel better, Boom It's never the same without you.
I keep telling myself it is the Holy Water. I am hoping that eventually I can turn it into wine or fish or something. The in-laws would be in for a treat then!
It was a rough one for those working through it like that.My biggest travail was getting a lardy bum from sitting on it at home with a laptop and dialling into a million calls!
You just keep telling yourself that! :)
It was not fun, It was not glorious. It just was.
I hope you are feeling better today, and I do not wish plague and pestilence on any of your outlaws. Not on your time anyway. :)
I feel quite good today, tired and a bit more affected gastrically than I would like but apart from that not too bad!
BRAT diet may help: bananas, rice, applesauce, and toast. Don't be out doing cartwheels just yet. :)
Glad you are feeling pretty good!
Bummer, Boom. They say the cases are jumping here again. Hard to tell as they do their best to keep it off the front page. We have so many problems over here, aint no one got time for that Covid nonsense lol.
Apparently they are jumping up here again with some new variant or other.
We too have a multitude of problems these days without throwing more covid into the mix. The world is going to hell!
Once again a questionable character (stiff-bottom 🤣🤣) of yours turned out to br right. Damn, I hate when they're right.
Get well soon, Boom. Luckily it's usually nothing to worry about these days.
Yeah, it will be nothing to worry about. I am going to metaphorically fist this funker!
One day I will be right and then they will all see!! Hopefully not when I claim I can see a meteorite coming or something!!
Hehehe. You've probably already passed it to all of them.
I think I might have! I don't see how they can't have it!
Oh shit 😅
The paranoia seems to be increasing again here stateside. I caught the AM radio broadcasts from Sacramento, California late one night when the transmission over such long distances was favorable, and it included fearmongering galore. Meanwhile, I haven't ever taken a COVID test.
It has totally calmed down here but alas now the masks are reappearing and the tests are being pushed out. If we go back to masks I think I will have to go for some full helmet affair. Just to freak people out :0)
Well, at least have a !BEER and try to survive the insanity!
It's only !BEER that can get us through such things! Cheers!
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You better be wearing gloves before your finger talking!
I have gloves on gloves. That's how seriously I am taking it!
Terribly testy situation
Then the shaming of it all (group mind)
Then oops...
I am sad to hear you are in a weakened state, withering away in your bed. I've often thought how wonderful it would be to be sick, go to sleep while it runs it's course, then wake up not sick with full vigor restored. Slay it with your sword. I hope it dies fast and you're back to yourself.
I will slay it with my ssword if I dont wither away to a little nub in my bed!
Or I might spank it dead, that will fecking show it :OD
You do sound ill and not your usual self. Imagine an army on the attack in your body, killing all the nastiness.
I like that idea best, but make sure you get video and post it. 🤪
Lol. A video and vodka, that's what is needed.
I must confess to bring slightly knocked down by the fucker. Bloody 21st century and it's end of world ailments!
A hot toddy, extra strength, the Irish kind ;). Used to curse my mother (in my head) every time she'd bring that when I was sick.
LOL! A pox on them all!
Rest well to roar with full strength.
I am drinking beer as we speak. I won't lie down for this nonsense! Your mother had the right of it 😀
Beer! Pear cider here.
In her mind, yes (but it did work). She'd stand over me like a drill sergeant, saying "drink it", eyes staring holes through me. A do it or else situation, lol. Only problem is that it left me with such an aversion to all things brandy or brandy flavoured, just the smell brings on feelings of illness. In adult years, she never understood why I didn't like brandy, didn't want it ever.
I hope it's mild for you this time. The dominant variant here in the U.S. is supposedly 18x more contagious than omicron but far more mild. My wife and I are convinced we had it in January of 2020 after our friend we were staying with came down "with the worst flu of her life". Oh, how I long for our pre-Covid world again. A few Scotch eggs might be feel a little better about it all. Take care of yourself.
Cheers mate. That is good to know actually because I had it in February so if this is another variant which I presume so, it would be good if it were milder. At the moment it doesnt feel milder but Ithink that is the forgetting of the last time at play!
Hoping it gets better from here! I can't wait until this isn't so prevalent and we can get, somewhat, back to normal. I've always meant to ask, are you a writer by trade?
I am completely with you on that. The idea of travelling, shopping and just plain living without wondering would be fantastic!
I am not at all, I have always dabbled with writing but never for a living!
We can't wait to travel again, I've flown once during the pandemic but it was only a two hour flight.
You have such a clear and distinct writer's voice I would've guessed that you did it professionally. It isn't often that I'm not laughing at some point in your posts! They're really good.
Thanks man, that means a lot coming from your esteemed self!
I am aiming to fly in September, have slight jitters about it but its only a 3 hour flight so hoping for the best!
You're welcome. Writing is such a great outlet. I'm finding myself slipping gradually into retirement but I still enjoy writing for pleasure.
Ah, where to? The airlines here in the U.S. had things together when I flew back in January but all of the protocols have been lifted now. I would probably wear an KN95 while on the plane. Hope you're feeling better!
Lmao 🤣 great line.
Damn. That's too bad. Everybody is going to be pissed when they find out that you gave them covid lol. Hopefully it's not bad for you the second time around. Good luck and feel better soon.
Cheers man, I am already feeling a bit perkier today. Which is a good sign.
They are all testing positive so far. I am hoping that they are in the clear even though they don't deserve it! :OD
Nice entry. Good to hear.
Haha they dont desrve it 😆
Ohh, what a bummer. Everyone I know has had it twice now, and the second time around has been just some sniffles and such almost across the board. We have weakened it to the point of minor- go human resiliency! Even my friends who were the most adamant about the C rules are not testing for it anymore unless they're forced, hah!
Hope you enjoy the mini vacay!
Yeah, I tested the once and that will do me. I want to be a free man albeit one without a cough and the skits 🤣🤣
The skits? 🤣 If that is slang for loose poo I'm stealing it!
I am telling you, this testing kits and sites are booming businesses. Millions are being made everywhere.
At this point, I don't care anymore, if I get it I will get it. I am vaccinated, boosted, will take more boosters if needed, but I don't see any need to worry about it anymore
I think with the Vax and the boosters there is definitely less need to worry. I am in the same boat but my oh my it is still a plain in the chuff off an illness! I think I will be taking a little more care to try not to be exposed in the future!
Get well soon. Even we are living in the era of mutable microbes.
It is the end times!!
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In Canada, I think the media simply got bored of broadcasting the numbers .. but looking at our numbers (I only care about deaths at this point)
Canada:
2020-2021, 16,590 deaths
2021-2022, 13,773 deaths
2022 - today, 11,569 deaths
so the prediction for 2022 would be roughly 21,544 deaths. That's 50% more than last year.
Source
So now, I'm divided. I don't want to leave the house (Not a Covid thing per se ... I just don't like people 😂)... but I've really got this strange craving for a sausage roll..... What to do? What to do?
Send a willing victim out to source said loveliness!!
I know what you mean about the numbers. We were looking but because the UK has largely decided to bin testing and counting the numbers arent accurate as to the current position in the country.
i wish they hadn't gone so gung ho about getting back to normal as I don't want to be blummin ill every few months or more with the risk, however slight of dying!