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Due to so many circumstances that sorounds my life I use to somehow create an invisible limitation for myself this is because physically there's already so many factors that limits me individually and one of them is an underlying health condition that seems to always persevere. Truth is, when one is physically sick in the body, the mind creates so many inabilities and even if normally we might want to try out things we can't do, the mind limits and confines one to some certain limitations and to me this is a personal monster that I'm currently dealing with. A monster that feeds on my physical redundancies to carve out a mental inability.
In 2015 I met the woman of my dreams but then I let her go, I don't want to tell stories but then the main reason why I let her go was because I couldn't trust myself to be who she wanted me to be, I didn't think I could physically remain the prince charming she met, I felt "what if I get sick, can she handle how I'd look"? or will she just leave because she's looking at a once handsome person fading away really gradually? My mind and body kept interjecting and I kept looking for excuse, and deep down my challenges confined me to refuting the rights choices.
This was a personal monster, I couldn't surge ahead in life because I was like a blockage to how far I'd go. Although I would say I had this personal monster due to how things had turned out in my life, it was a monster that life imbued into me by default but then the fact that this monster became so gigantic and puppeteered my life was because I fed it in a simpler term I gave it purpose and it grew to become something that pulls me back when I'm about to hit a stunning milestone and over and over again this monster feeds on my fear and influences my decisions
How do you deal with monsters? How tolerant are you?
Personally since this monster is inbuilt it's definitely more difficult to handle. To me, the biggest problems in life are the one's that unknowingly come alive due to us creating them. In essence, I mostly had to live with this monster in other to deal with it. Truth is, when one fights against oneself sometimes you don't know if you're winning or losing but then one biggest discovery I've managed is coming to a person understanding and what's this? That people are living with far worse conditions and everyone has a niggling issue and the only reason why I feel I'm the only suffering from this mental blockage is because I'm not taking time to see what other people are going through because I feel my conditions are far more worse.
Over the years I started blogging, making videos, going to college, meeting people and keeping myself really busy. Although this hasn't entirely killed this monster but then it subdued it to an extent. Nowadays I don't feel anything is impossible anymore and I don't always have the mental stance that my body will fail me someday although it's something I have to cope with, not something I'm always vocal about. Truth is, when it comes to tolerance, I hardly have zero tolerance but then it's a personal monster and there's always this confusion of tolerating the monster and tolerating myself to an extent. In other words, time has changed how I feel and one time or the other it comes back to me
Interested in some more of my works?
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The Sun Has Glistened (An Original Poetry)
The Inexplicability Of Death And Why People Often Chose To Be In Denial Of It.
What Constitutes Difference In People Irrespective Of Being Exposed To The Same Things In Life?
My name is @Josediccus, a young Nigerian student who is a Vlogger, A Psychologist, Poet And Sports Writer/Analyst. I'm using my contents as a process to create shared meaning as well as create expressions through which people on/off hive can relate. I believe content is a process to be enjoyed and relished and I'm up for any collaborations in my field stated above. Cheers
@Josediccus, your brother-in-pen & heart
I'm hoping to reach more people who are broken at heart and spirit, so share on any platform or rehive
This is deep bro, been a while I actively read through my feeds. Let me ask this, is the health conditions terminal? If no, then you need to change base, have new reorientation, kill that damn monster totally.
Its psychological when you travel the world, it heals you, there are places filled with forces of Nature that heals in and out, I planned to visit one in Asia before we entered a great Bear run back then, because my own monster is Pains of death(loosing my loved ones without giving back any of those sacrifices made for me). But I'm healing, you must heal too. Consider a relocation, it helps, its like starting living all over again!
Yeah it can actually be terminal but then, it depends on how I manage it. Nevertheless, I sometimes attribute the fact that I've thrived simply because my whole life has been a challenge in general.
Well I think you're right, I do need to change my location, I'll choose to go to South Africa I think. But then money, I hope crypto does well soon again.
Sorry to read this bro, please think of another alternative like Australia or Canada. SA could be unsafe with the frequent xenophobic attacks, hopefully we have Bullrun back, I'll kick start my own plans too by then.
Dear @josediccus, Thank you for your participation in the QOTW.
I do not know what your physical health problem is, but yes from what I read I understand it has pulled you down a lot. But I just hope you can gather that courage and strength and find a stronger purpose for yourself which can overwrite this monster within and you become a more stronger person mentally and reach to that capability where no monster can disturb you.
@nainaztengra Leading the curation trail on behalf of @ecotrain.
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Thanks a whole lot @ecotrain for taking the time to read, yeah I'm finding the courage to do so, sometimes my life just weighs me down sometimes I look for someone to blame sometimes I don't. I have no choice but to keep thriving
Thank you so much for joining us on this weeks QOTW! @eco-alex apologises for not commenting this week. Your post has been featured in our tie up post for all to discover on Hive ;-)
https://peakd.com/ecotrain/@ecotrain/ecotrain-question-of-the-week-tie-up-post-how-do-you-deal-with-monsters-how-tolerant-are-you