It's that time of year again!
No, not the college basketball thing, although it does bring me no small amount of mirth listening to the herd of teenage boys that constantly surround me lament some of their bracket choices. What I am talking about is MUD SEASON.
Every March (and sometimes April), North Idaho goes through Break Up. After a long winter full of freezing temperatures and snow cover, our ground has to release the frost and moisture it accumulated over the winter. It's lots of fun.
You see the signs everywhere. On the highways red flags are hung on the speed limit signs which means that you will get to see people losing their minds. The red flags herald break up limits which means that all large trucks have to drive a blistering 30 miles per hour.
I feel for the truck drivers during this time. Me, I just leave an extra 20 minutes or so early when I have to go somewhere. And I am not going to say that I don't ever feel a twinge of annoyance when I get stuck behind a truck that has to go 30 in a 60, but it's part of living here in our beautiful North Idaho, and really, it only lasts for about two weeks or so.
However, I really don't know if having the trucks drive slower helps protect the road or not as things break up, because our roads are a train wreck after every winter. Big hooves erupt, axle-breaking asphalt craters depress, and there are impatient people trying to paint the roadway with their vehicle parts and their own biological matter when they try to pass thirteen cars and a truck going thirty only to get stuck behind another truck going thirty.
Anyway....mud season also has implications of inconvenience closer to home.
My road is a dirt road. Well, the previous owners dumped tailings on it for twenty years, but as I am in what was probably an eddy during Glacial Lake Missoula, my property has no rocks. What I do have is between 4-6 feet of silt. It's just plain awesome during breakup to drive on my driveway.
Now, I have a couple of glorious neighbors who live on the acreages adjacent to mine, and we have all gone through a mud season or two, so we have the drill down pat. We go out in the morning when the mud is still frozen, don't make a zillion trips to town, and tend to have text message fests about which parts of the road are the worse.
However, this year we have a new addition to our neighborhood. He's from the state that shall not be named. Me, I don't care where people are from or how often they move. It is their manners and behavior towards others that I am interested in. This new neighbor bought the five acres adjacent to my next door neighbor a few years ago. We had him over to dinner at my other neighbor's house because it's cool to introduce yourself to your neighbors. At least I think so.
During the Taco Introductory Dinner, we discovered that the guy was a tech dude form So Cal and he wanted to do the whole homestead in the country thing. That was a cool sentiment, but as he was wearing moccasins in March and thought he could just pull into people's yards with his motorhome and hook up to their frost free water hydrants without asking, well, I knew we were in for a good time with this particular guy.
Over the past few years my instinct has proven sound, he has been a source of entertainment (and sometimes exasperation) with his antics. But, as he didn't live here yet, it wasn't that big of a deal.
Well, the WunderCali finally moved up here this winter (A terrible time to move here unless you can't help it), he has a well, but no power, a motorhome, but no septic, and oh ya, he has a dirt trail not a driveway.
The ingress to his place looks about like you would expect it too, a mud pit that people with Jeeps and UTV's would salivate over upon setting their eyes upon it. The ruts into his property are at least knee high, and he keeps driving his old Ford F250 on it, making at least 42 trips to town a day.
The problem is, his road (mess) joins with my road and his 42 trips a day isn't helping matters at all. The goal during mud season is to let the road do its settling thing so it gets all solid faster. We all get it, we've lived through it for years. I try to limit driving my truck (big vehicles=bigger ruts), the tractor gets a well deserved vacation, and my poor little car looks like I use it as a mud bogging vehicle for a couple weeks.
Well, the other day, after no less than six UPS trucks hot rodded up my driveway, tearing the stuffing out of it, I started feeling this feeling that's uncommon in my diminutive form. Annoyance.
"Doesn't he see how bad the road is?" I grumbled to myself, wondering why Wundercali getting so many deliveries.
The other problem is that he doesn't have his road marked well with a street number, so the UPS trucks were coming up to my house and my neighbor's house, causing even more un-neccesary damage.
Finally, this past Wednesday, yet another big truck was rodding up my road. I was out raking winter's bounty of pinecones when I tossed my rake on the ground and walked toward the very confused looking UPS driver.
She was barely old enough to be licensed, and I felt for her, because it was obvious by her pale visage and heightened respiratory rate that she was not used to Mud Season roads.
"Are you looking for Wundercali?" I called to her kindly, I felt for the poor girl.
"Um, I'm looking for (she rattled off his street address)." she replied, her voice shaking like a newborn calf's raspy moo.
"Well, that's that nightmare of mud right over there," I replied congenially, pointing to the trail of no return.
She went on to tell me that the box that said deliveries at the start of his driveway had an arrow pointing to that house there. The arrow pointing house was my neighbor's abode.
The poor kid looked so distressed that I offered to walk over and see if we could just leave the package with my neighbor. She didn't answer when I knocked but I told the driver to just leave the box on the porch and I would go get my phone and text my neighbor, because my she knew how to get ahold of Wundercali.
The girl thanked me profusely and I told her once again how sorry I was that she had to endure our road. She smiled and turned around, in the process she created a spectacular new rut next to my equipment shed. I sighed and started toward the house to get my phone.
Before I had gone ten steps my neighbor hailed me, she was home! She had also hailed Wundercali. I told her I was going to go trench some of the ruts so the water would drain, and she walked with me over to see the damage where Wundercali's driveway merged with ours.
We both sat there and commiserated like those who are experiencing discomfort from the mystifying actions of others do when Wundercali came out of the woods and towards us.
At least he was wearing boots this time.
My neighbor started in on him, saying that the delivery trucks were tearing up the road and his street cardboard deliver here sign wasn't working. Was there anyway he could put up a better sign for deliveries?
Me, I was smiling like an insolent corgi. I did pipe up and let him know that the hubs and I had trenched the worst spots in the road so they could drain, but all that was in vain if several heavy vehicles a day were going to be lumbering down the road.
Wundercali replied, "Is it always like this? I don't remember it being like this last year."
To which my neighbor, in her very blunt older woman way snapped, "You weren't here during breakup last year!"
In order to diffuse the situation, I jumped in, "Yep, it's like this every year for a couple of weeks."
It was then that Wundercali dropped a statement bomb of the I'm still scratching my head in amused wonderment kind on us,
"I thought about bringing down my wet/dry vac and sucking up the water."
I instantly bit down on my cheeks. My friends, it took all my will power to not start guffawing like a drunken donkey. Did Wundercali just say he was thinking about shop vacuuming the water out of the road ruts?
"Wundercali!" I exclaimed in a valiant attempt to retain my adult decorum, "that would be a ton of work!"
"Everything's a lot of work!" he retorted.
I couldn't help it, by then my smart donkey mirth smile had reached Defcon 5, I had to walk away before I got myself into to trouble. The thought, You're 10-ply, bud caressed my lips, desiring to be set free into the aether.
Well, I've got trenching to do and a yard to rake, you both have a nice day!" I bleated and stalked off to get things draining. I don't know if Wundercali saw my shoulders shaking because the farther away I got, the more I exploded into laughter.
That poor guy has a long road ahead of him. Then again, maybe he can just get out the shopvac....
I have a question...That is completely off topic kind of lol
What do you do for internet service? Is it spotty out where you are or reliable?
My wife and I are trying to make the move out to the country, but internet is my biggest worry.
I love off topic questions! I have broadband, and to be honest, it's not very lightning fast at all. Compared to my first few years out here on the farm (dial up and hot spot), what I have now is amazing, I mean, on most days we can stream on four separate devices without issue.
That said, there is some disruption these days in the evening because we have so many people moving out here and the infrastructure is a bit overwhelmed.
I have a friend who lives in the wilderness who has Sky Net (Skylink, but I really love calling it Sky Net, please forgive me...), that is the way to go, beautiful ISP!!!
And I totally understand your concern, you do a TON of stuff! My friend is an IT engineer that has Skylink, and he digs it.
That's so exciting you and your wife are thinking about moving out, I grew up in the wilderness so living rural is like living in town for me, but I love it, I also love taking the occasional foray into the city, it's another type of wilderness in a way. My hubs grew up in downtown San Francisco, so we feel like it's good to expose our kids to all different types of environments:) Hope you are having a great weekend!
Yeah we spent last year our of our element, and actually lived in a small town, but we are both city folk lol
I really dont want to be in the cities anymore. The only thing holding me back from going fully in the country is...Internet.
Somedays I wish there was a way to get the best of both worlds lol! And yes, the Internet is a big deal. Our family is in the process of going even further out into the actual wilderness, and that was my first concern. I hope you find a way to go soon!
Some people just never learn!! Maybe he quit his comedy job to move to the country?
Sometimes I feel like that may be the case🤣
He has absolutely destroyed the driveway where his meets ours, to the point that we all have to drive up on the sides to get through. My one neighbor is so mad, it's like being a a tv drama, the text messages and angry looks are flying lol!
Oh my goodness, that just cracked me up! People just don't know what they are getting in for when they live out here in the boonies. A really nice neighbor of mine has only been here about 3 years and is already wishing for paved roads. I've been here over 20 years and know it isn't likely to happen. She came from that same sunny state, and I bet she has never lived on a dirt road in her life 'til now.
I hope you have your phone/camera handy when he gets out the shop vac!!
Oof, she is going to be waiting for awhile....
I'm so happy she's nice! Most of them are, it's just like they didn't actually investigate the true situation of where they planned to station themselves. Honestly, the only thing that ever irritates me a bit is entitled and/or destructive behavior. Just because you move somewhere doesn't entitle you to the services and living environment of your last place of residence, especially if you are going from urban/suburban to rural.
That said, I am SO looking forward to witnessing some driveway vacuuming! I will try to capture it! LOL!
I have met dozens of families who moved here from that Sunny State. Many of them came here to home school without all the red tape. They are all absolutely wonderful people. We had been here over 20 years before I finally encountered a family that fits the classic stereotype and unfortunately they are one of our newest neighbors. I don't know whether they brought their former lifestyle with them here, or if they thought north Idaho is the Wild West where anything goes. They single-handedly changed the atmosphere of our neighborhood from a quiet, respectful area to a loud, obnoxious area. It's frustrating. I keep hoping they will get tired of our awful road and move away. Is that terrible?
No, it's not terrible at all. I feel that way about a few of the more entitled ones, mainly because I visited them in their former habitat and was constantly assaulted with the whole, *"Our culture and lifestyle is best, we are better than you." mentality that honestly, tickled me to no end.
That said, I don't really like it in my backyard.....
The hubs runs the youth shooting sports program at the CDA Range and leads 4H shooting sports and he has a ton of ideological refugees from that state (and others) in his groups. They are all sweet people, but boy do they come from a culture of control, conformity, and convenience. People's perceptions about Idaho and its inhabitants are quite something, I am sorry you are dealing with some who missed the good neighbor training. It's going to be an interesting next few years in these parts!
I could live with mud, how is the weather there? If it leans toward cold, look for a house for me lol!
Well, in the summer our average temps are during the mid 80's (Fahrenheit) during the day and in the mid 50's at night. What's awesome is that we have low humidity and even if it gets 100 during the day, it's almost always chilly at night. Half the year it's even colder (like 20s-30's) so yep, cooler than most places.
Would that work? lol! Finding a house is going to be a challenge, half the US is moving to Idaho right now!
Now I am curious though, how hot is it where you live?
Sounds perfect, imo. I am far from being able to afford it atm! Hopefully, they'd move out by the time I can afford it lol!
It's around double where you live during the summer. And the humidity is a killer, like you can actually feel like it has physical weight.
Oof, I love the heat, but that sounds a bit relentless, like it never lets up. No wonder you want some chillier clime time!
I'll let you know when the housing market finally corrects😉
Not only that, but the power cuts off for half the day, so no air conditioning during noon. I can get warm with a blanket but can't get cold with anything during summer lol!
Always great to get city folk out in the wilderness, lol
I'm never without a source of amusement! Of course, they are often amused at my antics, so it's tons of fun lol!
The first big project my husband did was have load after load of gravel hauled in, up to the barn's parking lot. Now it's just the area by the barn that looks like your driveway. Maybe in a couple years I can afford to finish the job...
Ah, I had a feeling you would understand the struggle! I tried to explain to our new import about how our silt land loves to eat rock and what it would take to build a non-disappearing driveway/parking pads. He kinda glazed over, so I think more excitement shall present itself in the future lol!
In the meantime, I keep saving money for loads of rock, the hubs grades the road, creates ditches, and we raise the roadbed above grade a bit at a time...always thinking maybe in a couple years...
Hope you had a great weekend and that darn brain fog abated a bit!
So many slimes there. You have to wear tall shoes
I've got BIG boots!
As a suburbanite who dreams of living in the offgrid in the country, I sympathize with this CAL dude. At least he's actually taking a stab at it. If I ever moved my family to the wide-open, I wonder what ignorant cityfolk things I would do!
But Wet/dry vac? Was he being serious? I'm just imagining someone getting down on their hands and knees in a muddy road, shopvaccing up puddles.... bwaaa haa haaa haa haaa!
Oh, I admire him for jumping in! The best way to learn is through trial and error, right?! And I'm definitely not immune, I tend to do boneheaded things frequently, but I gotta say, the vacuum thing was a new one! lol!
And he was absolutely serious(almost borderline arrogant), that's what killed me the most! You painted the perfect visual word image for what flashed before my eyes when he said it, LOL!
!LOLZ
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I just got back to Michigan after a week in Virginia and the first thing one instantly notices upon entering the north is the drastic change in the roads. Those southern roads are like floating on a cloud!
Rub it in why don't ya!! LOL!
I've wondered how things are going on your grand new Virginia adventure, I hope splendidly!
Just wondering, but why didn't you just lay some concrete where the driveway is? I live in the city but it's probably what came to my mind first.
It's totally a great thought! The problem is my driveway is about a mile long. Just to asphalt a short (think 30X40ish driveway is about ten thousand dollars!), it would cost me hundreds of thousands to even chip seal/asphalt the road, graveling it alone would cost about 20 thousand or more. Maybe some day!!
And here I thought these tales of city slickers were the stuff of legends and Hollywood movies! But then I have never been to North Idaho....😂
It's definitely an entertaining part of the world lol!
Your post made me think about an old TV show Green Acres. Living on a farm can be fun but it is a lot of work. Thanks for sharing.
I have to thank you, I just heard my dad sing, GREEEEN ACRES! in my head lol! I used to watch reruns of that show with him as a kid, and he obnoxiously sang the theme song on many occasions.
You are so right about it being a ton of work, but it's also very rewarding and (mostly) enjoyable work too😊
Thanks for stopping by!
Oh my lord. You could make a movie out of this post.
I absolutely loved reading it.
Sorry if I got entertained than I should have. Lol.
Thank you.
!BBH
!ALIVE
If you ever apologize for being entertained again, I will throw mud in the general direction of Newfoundland...heh!
Thank you so much! You made my day!
Hahahahaha. Thanks for the entertainment 😉
Oy Kat, I live in Newfoundland, and we already have enough mud! Well, maybe not the same Newfoundland as Brad, but that's nonetheless the name of the town on my address labels.
It's all good! I've got enough mud to share with both the Newfoundlands!😁
@generikat! You Are Alive so I just staked 0.1 $ALIVE to your account on behalf of @bradleyarrow. (24/30)
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Because this is such an awesome post, here is a BBH Tip for you.
. Keep up the fantastic work
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