Overly self-rewarded

in LeoFinancelast year

I got asked an interesting question on my last post about putting candy in gin and while I have an answer, it raised other questions. I was asked if I ever use the drink as a reward for myself, and while I don't, I don't actually know what I do reward myself with. Do I reward myself at all?

I do things for myself that I like of course, but I am not sure if any of those things would be considered a reward, which I find interesting, as I spend a lot of time thinking about reward mechanisms in general on Hive. But in the real world, what do I reward myself with?

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One of the problems that I have with "reward" is that I think it has to be earned by doing something useful. But more than this, it has to be seen as something useful to others, as if it is me doing something for myself that benefits me, isn't that reward already? I think my time on Hive has influenced this view, as in order to get some reward, it generally has to be attached to the community in some way.

It is not that I don't do anything for others at home, but the difference is that it is a responsibility in many cases and for example, looking after my family and doing things for them is just part and parcel of having a family. This activity isn't selfless, there is a return and the "happy wife, happy life" statement implies reward already. So, the reward of looking after family is a higher quality of life in general, as well as the reward of reciprocity at times.

The other aspect of this is that should a reward be only self-administered? While I am far from wealthy, I can afford things (like a gin and candy) without having to do anything for them. This means that there is less incentive to do something in order to get them. However, if it is something I won't buy for myself but could get if I perform tasks that are valuable for others, the incentive is there to act in my own best interest, which is to help those who need or value my service. Based on my service, they might feel that they should give something in return and at times, even a heartfelt "thank you" might be enough.

Perhaps it is old-fashioned to think that in order to be rewarded, we have to do something worth rewarding. After all, in the last few decades a lot of the consumer messaging has been to "reward yourself" which gives us license to consume, without having a reason pother than we can. On top of this, the idea of everyone wins a prize has been pushed heavily, meaning that merit is no longer necessary to get the dopamine kick of working and getting rewarded. Why do somethin when the same feeling can be accomplished through doing nothing?

I actually think this is quite pervasive in the world today, where people are comfortable receiving the "trappings" of work, without putting in the effort of working. My concept of the desire for workless wealth highlights this, but just the gamification model of society in general does too. As consumers, we are able to reward ourselves and get a similar feeling, but it is fundamentally different than being rewarded by others.

Some people think it is fantastic not have to earn their reward, but the problem is that when we can just "buy" the prize, we are don't have to do anything of note, anything of value to get the benefits. This changes the very nature of a society and community, disconnecting action from outcome and profoundly changing the nature of the relationships throughout the group. When people no longer have to do anything for other people to get rewarded, what happens to society in general?

I am not sure and will have to do some more thinking on it, but I assume that the glue of relationships that holds community together weakens. This could mean that the future tokenization of activity and reward based on service to individuals and community could strengthen community and service in general, as the highest rewarded will also be increasingly verified for why they are rewarded, as there will be a transparent paper trail of their activity that leads right up to the reward itself and, a paper trail of all that rewarded them. It will be interesting.

So, while I do enjoy getting rewarded, I am not sure if I reward myself with anything. I do splurge very occasionally on things, but generally they are larger items and years apart. Last year for instance, I bought myself a few hundred euros of Bitcoin for my birthday, though I don't consider that a reward, it was an investment that I justified as a present to myself.

But I am interested, how do you reward yourself and, how do you reward those around you like family and friends?

Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]

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I think I’ve allowed “rewards” for myself over the past few years more than I have ever done so prior. The artwork is the thing in life that I give myself a pat on the back with. It also helps that those specific rewards reap wonderful benefits which make those large pills a tad easier to swallow. But I think enjoying things in life is important. You work hard and there’s no promise of tomorrow. So reward away!

The artwork is the thing in life that I give myself a pat on the back with.

Not a bad way to go. An investment too. Some freak gave me some fancy schmancy comics in Krakow that I have tucked away - what a sucker! ;D

I still have those somewhere, and a doll type thing. Set to moon!

You got a Funko Pop too? Damn :)

No clue what it's called but just let me know when they are all the rage :)

Funny how we go about justifying things we do or buy for ourselves. My wife has a hard time on those two special days getting me something, (birthday, Christmas). If I need something I just get it. It might take me a while to get it, but eventually I do find and get the thing I needed. I rarely go in for the want of a thing. I would like a new car, a new house, I would like a lot of new things, but they are not needs, so they just sit there until they become a need.

I guess I do reward myself sometimes, like when I didn't really need any new x-box games but I wanted and went and got. (they were used and cheap).

My wife has a hard time on those two special days getting me something, (birthday, Christmas). If I need something I just get it.

Lol, my wife too. Then she buys me something lame.

btw, I played with an oculus for the first time at a friend's place the other night. It was fun! Maybe when my daughter is older I will get something :)

VR - It does seem like it could be fun, I guess it helped having a headset last year for the first virtual Hivefest, I think it may be the same this year. TV and movies keep showing how VR is the next thing, but I'll wait a little bit, I have enough of a hard time with dizziness that I'm not sure it will be a good fit for me, but have thought of stopping at our local computer store to try it out.

We're waiting for Sony or Microsoft et al, to launch a multiplayer VR console. I do worry about young eyeballs looking at a screen only an inch or two out, for extended periods.

I should probably reward myself more, mainly with more time spent on myself.

Friends and family get my assistance and time, and if they are lucky then random gifts which I see have a small but direct improvement.

Time spent on oneself can be the best way to spend time. That could also be because I have no time for myself these days at least during normal hours.

which I see have a small but direct improvement.

It doesn't take much :)

That could also be because I have no time for myself these days at least during normal hours.

Well, assuming you spend at least 1 hour conceptualizing, ordering your ideas, carefully selecting your photos and suitable words, writing, editing, illustrating and formatting all the stuff and finally publishing each one of your daily four posts. We could then deduce that you always have no less than around five or six hours available for yourself. LoL

I have been starting up a pretty decent whiskey collection over the past couple of years. I tend to reward myself with a new bottle from time to time. I doesn't require me to have done anything though. I just need to be in the mood and feel that we can afford it!

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I was talking about this on the weekend with friends. Do you choose them as an investment, or to drink?

Oh, I drink mine. It could take a couple of years to finish one bottle though. I have a bottle of Blanton's I paid $60 USD for and I could easily sell it for over $100 if it was still unopened.

Most times, what I do for myself and even my loved ones are what I see as responsibility and not reward. I appreciate reward more when it is deliberate and it's spelt out.

Like a person tells me this is your reward for doing this. Salary, promotions, kind words from patients, are kind of external rewards. For myself, I deliberately consider a reward as reward. For example, I reward myself with a special timeout with friends after a successful exam. For my guardians, now am out of school and working, I reward them with financial bliss although I see that as my responsibility.

How does one really reward love, esp an unconditional love? That's how reward to self and loved ones fill like to me. And at this, there is a thin line between reward and responsibility (perceived or actual).

I reward them with financial bliss although I see that as my responsibility.

That is their reward for getting you to where you are in one piece :)

How does one really reward love, esp an unconditional love?

with reciprocity, but if it is unconditional, the love doesn't depend on a return of any kind. I think parents may experience unconditional love. but not all.

I think parents may experience unconditional love. but not all.

Yeah.

The best reward given to yourself that Do little Charity to needy .It will make you feel better. Rewarding ourselves is very important to gain more self respect and feel glorious .

I know a lot of people who feel better doing charity than rewarding themselves. I also know some who feel bad doing charity, but not as bad as they would if they didn't...

Well ,In my opinion it all boils down Two types of Rewards. Money or Kind. money in the sense that you reward yourself and people around you by doing things money can afford and like you said and i agree.

it is a responsibility in many cases and for example, looking after my family and doing things for them is just part and parcel of having a family. This activity isn't selfless, there is a return and the "happy wife, happy life" statement implies reward already.

2nd "Being An act of kindness* This to me doesn't have to be for the rich or for the poor and to me it entails that joy from within which i consider as the best reward. People can't buy such feeling an act of kindness give.
So I personally reward myself and others in Kind.

PS : I didn't mean to write this much😄

But it is reward none the less. The reason that people enjoy the reward, is the feeling they get from receiving it. It is also why they buy themselves things as rewards, the feeling. The feeling from giving or receiving acts of kindness are a feeling too . It is all about the feelings involved, not the form the reward takes.

What is an act of kind and can you evaluate its impact?

PS : I didn't mean to write this much

This is one of the shorter comments I tend to receive :)

According to the dictionary ...
Kindness is defined as the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate. but I feel kindness is more than that and it's so inpactful.
Kindness can be letting a stranger go in front you in the line,lending an helping hand,even to picking up the trash in the neighbourhood. When we practice random acts of kindness, It releases positivity,We feel better and the recipients of our acts feel better, which then makes them more likely to be kind to other people. ... Kindness reduces stress. kindness boost feelings of confidence.We are humans, and therefore, we make mistakes,We can be kind in our response to ourselves and others when those mistakes occur and be forgiving.
I can write a whole post about kindness and it's impact to oneself, to others and to the society At large.

I know what kindness is and what are acts of kindness and how it can influence feelings, but my question is, how to evaluate it.

I don't think i can evaluate it, I just can't assess it. If i try,i would say kindness can be measured by the lack of aggressive behaviour and i can only think of evaluating kindness to peace.

How do I really reward myself?
When I think of it, i might not have rewarded myself in a long time.

But in the past, there were ways I could reward myself.
I could go play games with my friends, see a movie or go play table tennis.

I can remember getting a device then.

Presently, most of the things I do give me rewards.

Like learning to be more skilled in my profession rewards me with more trust from my patient, more sense of fulfilment and other things.

Even if I decide to reward myself with a device, the device will only help me get more rewards.

Do I prefer self reward or reward from other people?

I might prefer reward from other people.

Some weeks ago, someone sent me a message and said that she thanks God everyday for meeting me.

This was just because I onbparded her on hive some months ago and also helped her in her workplace.

This means a lot to me. I don't really see any reward better than the reward of making impact on another man

Like learning to be more skilled in my profession rewards me with more trust from my patient, more sense of fulfilment and other things.

It is important to get fulfilment from jobs I think. One of the reasons many don't like the jobs they do, is because they do not work out how they can be fulfilled by them.

This means a lot to me. I don't really see any reward better than the reward of making impact on another man

I agree, (positive impact perhaps :P ), but at the same time, I think it is also valuable to be rewarded for the impact. One of the ironies of the world is that too often, we want people to act better, but we reward poor behavior. We get what we incentivize.

I totally agree with all you have said so far.

I hope we all make positive as we journey through life

I reward myself when I do something good for myself. This could be a drink, an ice-cream, a dinner, a mobile phone... And if I do something good for others, I want to be rewarded. Not must be a material thing, but a nice word.

I think this should be done at workplace especially. By doing so, managers would increase the motivation of their asistans.

I think in the workplace reward is better than socially these days. Not everywhere of course. Too many socially are so disconnected that they don't care about others - but in the workplace, they look to improve productivity and know reward matters - monetary being low on the list as a motivator.

Honestly speaking, I hardly give a reward for myself. Pre-pandemic, traveling used to be my reward for myself. These days, even a good night's rest will do as a reward. My definition of reward has been getting simpler as I age lol! 😂

A good night's rest!!!? You are spoiled if you get one of those! :D

But yep - age brings a lowering of expectation, because life experience informs us.

I take vacation or just time of every now and then to reward myself and try to gain energy that I lost during my work time

Does it work?`
Holidays are good for many things - but I am not sure they are good stress relievers, but they can postpone stress. I wonder what would happen if people spent their holidays learning about how to manage stress.

What's the point of thinking on holidays it's better to not think and enjoy that the best way to relieve your stress

This is where we disagree. People who are stressed, generally will always experience a lot of stress, unless they create strategies to manage it. However, most never will, because when they have the opportunity to not be in the conditions of stress (for example a holiday) they avoid learning new strategies to live.

We have different kinds of reward but is not must that someone you help will reward you.
Reward depends on the person you helped or you just worn a thing that they placed a reward on it, that's when you will be expecting the reward.
But you can also reward your self with good things base on what you passed through on that thing.

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Expecting reward makes it pay, doesn't it? I don't get monetary rewards from my job, I get paid. I do get rewarded on Hive, as I have no contract to get paid at all here.

We enjoy our reward on Hive community. We blog and we get our reward with some free token they dash us in Hive community

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This is how I reward myself :)
My wife's been playing a bit too, so I send her cards from time to time.

You must have enough of these by now?!

Goes well with the Lama on 13 mana battles i see :)

I do things for myself that I like of course, but I am not sure if any of those things would be considered a reward, which I find interesting

Sounds like a great logic to justify stuff that might be considered "rewarding yourself" ;D

I am teasing mercilessly

I'm pretty much the same as you, stupidly expensive items years apart, and things that can be counted as "investments" (usually it's computer equipment for art purposes). Reward for saving up the money? XD

Rewards for other people umm the kids will usually get to pick either takeaway dinner (which is the option they will usually take) or ask J to cook something specific when they've done something exceptional (usually it's gymnastics competitions). Otherwise pretty much all I have to give is gratitude and trying to do nice things for them because spare money what's that.

Today, only the most successful are those who try less but think more
There is no denying that even rewarding Hayo is ineffective
But rewards are more effective in real life
For example, when I make coffee for my father, he subconsciously remembers waking me up in the morning.
Even in emotional relationships, when you give, you get more
Rewarding returns a lot of positive energy rather than rewarding