Last night I had the first dream about my dad since he passed away and it was a bit embarrassing. You see, in the dream I was at some kind of large dancing event and then my dad turned up and started dancing - My father was quite possibly the worst dancer in the history of the world and once seen, it is seared into the memory forever. He didn't care though and it never stopped him from dancing - the way it should be.
I envy him in this regard as I don't seem to be able to "dance like no one is watching" in many aspects of my life and while I don't care much about public opinion of me, I do care about what I think of myself. I am my own worst critic, but I don't consider it unhealthy, I see it as a mechanism of self-control. I know when I have performed or acted poorly (at least on reflection) and the critic in me gives me the space to review and discuss alternative paths and hopefully, improve for the better going forward.
Sometimes I wonder what some people think of themselves in reflection of how they behave with others, how they treat people. I think this is going to be interesting in the future as online records exist and while many people might believe they are hidden and anonymous, they are not - there are thousands of ways that someone can be discovered with the right access to information.
However, when it comes to the way we behave for example on Hive, I wonder if people will ever go back and review their behavior and consider if it was appropriate, useful, their best selves. Would they want their partner or children to read their mind? Perhaps, they don't have partners or children, maybe it is part of the reason some people are so aggressive.
There is a stereotype from the past of the "tech nerd" living in their mother's basement, but I don't think this stereotype holds firm anymore, as in general, those who are technically skilled are often out there doing their thing as professionals. I wonder if the stereotype of the "basement dweller" is better suited to the online trolls these days and perhaps their digital aggression is the representation of their repressed emotional state in reality - perhaps it is an indication of frustration - economic, social, sexual. A lack of agency and opportunity is frustrating after all and humans aren't well suited to handling frustration at the best of times.
I can't imagine a "happy soul" who takes pleasure in attempting to inflict some type of suffering on others intentionally - so what does this say about society and the health of the individual in regards to the increase in digital trolling. Couple this with the increase in depression and social discontentment and it doesn't speak very highly of our ability to cope in this environment.
When people feel "backed into a corner" they will lash out in attempt to protect themselves. It is no wonder that so many people identify themselves as victims, as their mental health is geared toward being exactly that, a victim - someone who doesn't have agency. It seems that a lot of people now feel backed into some kind of corner of society where they are oppressed, regardless of the reality of the situation and because they are likely to blame others for their position, the trolling and intentional attempt to inflict some kind of pain on others seems justifiable.
It is interesting what kinds of behavior some people can justify from themselves, but we build narratives that protect ourselves and many are not well versed in taking a look into that mirror and removing the illusions of their story. Perhaps one day they will wake up and discover that their mind is different, their thoughts and emotions changed - I wonder how they justify their past behavior - do they say they did the best they could with what they knew - will they recognize that they had access to know more but actively avoided it?
It is interesting to think about though as while I can't say if the internet trolls are the basement dwellers for sure, I don't suspect that they are the upstanding community members people are attracted to. I think trolling speaks of internal turmoil and pain, personal suffering and lack of power to direct oneself - I could be wrong. But what is interesting is that when it comes to what they think is hurtful to say, a healthy and well-adjusted individual finds what they say sad due to the childish and immature nature of it - yet coming from an adult.
All children think they are clever - til they grow up and look back on how ignorant they were. Perhaps part of the problem with the internet is that it protects against the consequences of behavior, so people take longer to grow up, some never make it out of puberty - perhaps this is why there is so much sexual frustration and focus in what the trolls have to say - lack of experience.
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]
Not quite possibly...It has been documented in the Guinness Book of World Records that he was indeed the worst. Dad didn't give a shit though, he just lived by design and had fun.
I, on the other hand, am more kind than he was...I never dance and so don't subject innocent bystanders to the horror of seeing the second-worst dancer on the planet in action.
Such Generosity! :D
Now that I think of it, I'm a very kind person myself! I never sing in public!
Lol...We must be the worlds most kind and generous people, you and I. We are saints!
!ENGAGE 30
Yes we should start preaching kindness to these internet trolls Taraz mentioned! 😉
Lol...We could charge them...Might be a good business for us saints.
ENGAGEtokens.It's in the genes, so I just blame them on my bad moves :)
Lol yeah...Always handy to have someone,nor something, to blame.
And they also do not contemplate their future self and whatever values they might picked up along the way and whether those values will justify their aggressive behavior in the long run. Perhaps that rush of the moment is too much to bear and the thrill of getting away with it induces some sort of self-justification.
Dan Ariely did an experiments on a group of young bright minds. A set of questions are to be answered while they are normal and while they are sexually aroused. Questions like - Will you always use protective measures? Will you force yourself onto a woman?
Turned out their conscious answers contracted that of aroused state significantly.
I'm not drawing any conclusion here though. Perhaps these people need real life social interaction where they're not neglected. This brings me to another point of yours:
I don't think you're wrong. Because I've personally been there. Had some family issues growing up along with economic struggle. I started roaming online social media 14 years ago and as a teen I loved that anonymity—a username is all I needed. I posed as a much older guy and bullied others.
Looking back, I do not recognize the kid, nor his troubles.
Can't say if the story is similar in all other cases but it is likely.
However, I'll not entirely disregard the plausible conscious will to be malicious and dominating to others. Some are clearly like that.
Maybe it is that they have such a negative view of the future, that they figure this will be the best it can be now. The thrill of getting away with it is a good point - like shoplifters stealing a chocolate bar.
Not enough hugs as children - or perhaps too many.
This is important isn't it? Looking back and no longer knowing that person as you - though there that past is. We are always changing, but not always maturing or getting better.
Thanks for a great comment!
Reveal spoiler
ENGAGE 40
ENGAGEtokens.You see, that mentality right there is the problem. As you say, there are many ways to take anonymity out of the picture, but that doesn't really solve the core problem, does it!
When people realize they are no longer anonymous, they might tone down the aggression a bit. But that is only because of fear, not from self development or maturity. That aggression is still there, suppressed, and will surely come out when the opportunity presents.
Back to the core issue, society needs healing.
Very astute and I agree. It is this suppression rather than discovery that is the problem - Supporession is another avoidance measure.
Yes and society is made up of individuals. "Be the change" makes sense when applied to groups.
!ENGAGE 20
And probably more effective too. People are more likely to imitate/replicate what a group of people are doing than what an individual is doing!
It is why we should surround ourselves with people we would like to be more like.
ENGAGEtokens.I often wonder if perhaps not wanting to look back on past behaviours and mindsets with shame puts the brakes on our personal development.
Whenever I look back and shudder at who I was I take time to reflect on how grateful I am to no longer be that guy.
As much as it pains me to face a future where I'm ashamed of now (maybe even this comment), I think any future me will be more genuinely me than I am.
Otherwise, what would be the point?
This is maturing - discovering more about ourselves and dropping the automatic responses learned from childhood. I think we have created a digital world where we can be protected from growing up - and most will never know what they are missing.
Good question.
Crazy dreams are always interesting to analyise.
I think that happy people do not hurt others. Usually people who feel unsatisfied with their own life have something bad to say to others. You can't give what you don't have. If you don't have love, respect, kindness, forgiveness for yourself, you can't offer it to others. Actually it is sad to watch people being mean and ignorant, but it is for the best to wish them healing.
I really like this line of thinking and it is probably part of the frustration.
Sometimes, they need help that they will never seek.
I see frustration like a caterpillar eating the leaves of your inner peace. It's dreadful to hold this feeling inside and spread it to others expecting bliss in return.
To seek for help first one has to realise they have a problem
!ENGAGE 20
I think that the realizing there is a problem is a challenge as it is possible to get support from some corner of the internet, no matter how ridiculous the ideas. People can act like shit, and someone will still support them.
Oh indeed. It is a tough topic to debate
ENGAGEtokens.LOL that some crazy dream you have but lots of people wish to be free like no one is washing or they care themself
I wish I can dance like no tomorrow with not caring for public opinion but my self is the biggest critic that stops me from enjoying life to fullest
A lot of people can't even dance in front of a mirror, so start there and work your way up :)
Well most times I think and over think before saying a word to anyone, I dont want to lock back and regret ever saying a word that cause hurt, although sometimes it comes out unintentionally of which I become sorry but other times I pray to remain at peace with everyone.
Most people won't like you, but it doesn't mean you or they have to be at war and aggressive. I find aggressive people mentally stunted.
Very true indeed
"Perhaps, they don't have partners or children, maybe it is part of the reason some people are so aggressive." - this is so true
That only works when we are actively attempting to know better. Reflection and self introspection seems to be in short supply some times.
What a hard existence that has to be. Taking no time to look at myself means I'm perfect just the way I am. There is a serious contradiction there.
I rarely dance since I sobered up (30 years-yes there is a correlation) but I never, ever sing where I can be heard by other humans. It's just a concern for my fellows and humanity in general.
I think that most of the setups for family life these days doesn't create an environment for it. Parents don't encourage it and it isn't needed behind a screen.
Sounds familiar - except for my daughter.
hi @tarazkp, .. I'm a brilliant dancer in the kitchen at home while the music is on the TV, 😐 do all the funny moves too, (Saturday night fever.. JT has nothing on me) ... but if we're on holiday and I get into a position where people may be watching I turn into a wobbling jelly... I can't help it... maybe ill try closing my eyes and pretending I'm in my kitchen next time. 😆
Is Wobbly Jelly the style? :D
I love dancing, but haven't had a chance for a very long time to really do it.
This post highlighted the aspect of behaviour and then mental health relationships. It's true that the internet prevents people from growing up. If we could only perceive the consequences of our actions online, things would be better.
But online , we all wear masks at will and pretences and deception is the order of the day. Thanks for highlighting this @tarazkp
People see consequences of action as a limitation on their freedom of speech - they think the "fee" part means "costless".
Some more than others I imagine and, some are so far removed from their reality that their online persona is unrecognizable.
Makes sense so much. I appreciate your perspective. fortunately this problem has a real solution and that's by blogging about the truths and realities of the issue. Am sure this post has contributed positively. I learnt so much reading through. Thanks for sharing
Yup. Easy to be the online wanker one day and in another realm, the nice guy Eddie. This is when I hope karma can get involved, if it hasn't already.
I'd suspect that many of the wankers have pretty shit lives anyway.
What came first, the wanker or the shit life?
A question contemplated since the times of Socrates
You had the best dream...
Everyone says so. The best.
HEY Bytheway @tarazkp can I change my username @attajuttjj you see I created this account way back not knowing anything about hive or steemit and my username is kind of bad
need help
Nope, you are stuck with it. This is a blockchain :)
What does hen 1:hive mean at end?
I used to sign [ a Steem original ]
I am trialling this for now. Everyone that got ported over is essentially a First Generation Hive user. Another 4 years and that might be quite rare hopefully.
Hey @tarazkp
Please apologize for jumping in your post thread with an off-topic comment, this is the only way I found to contact you.
I'm looking for support to fund the HiveBuzz gamification proposal. The proposal is really close to being funded (less than 400k HP missing) and your help might be very helpful.
Feel free to contact me on Discord or Telegram if you have any questions or feedback to provide.
Thank you.
Sweet - will vote now mate. I have a bit of a proxy behind me too. Good luck!
Thank you so much. 🙏
That's possible, but I've read a few horror stories of closest people being the bullies just to feel power, they still got found out eventually.
I can't imagine a "sad soul" doing that either :S Wouldn't they know best what it feels like to feel down and not want it for others? I really wonder if it's the angry ones or some other emotion or lack of it that creates those personalities.
A lot of trolls could very well be teens/young adults with brains that haven't finished developing, hard to tell online who the troll really is. If it really is an adult, it's probably someone really bitter about their life and how "unfair" it is compared to others. Just guessing.