Ultimately, you have to choose whether to be on the dancefloor or the balcony...
Halcón Rey finished his sentence and looked down at his small audience from the ridiculously raised podium he was on.
Any questions?
He said with that confident air that the rich have, that there will be no questions.
I have a question.
I said from my seat way below the cloudy mountain-top from which Halcón Rey stood.
The room fell silent. We were at a productivity booster workshop. Again.
This one was being hosted by three of the company top-guns.
One of them, Halcón Rey, had just finished a big impassioned speech about dancers on a dance floor and people watching from the balcony and other mad shit.
He was getting so into it I half expected to see him sport a chubby as he stepped away from the lectern.
I recognised one of the other top gun's, Queso Grande. The last was a stranger, he looked like one of the long dead.
Halcón Rey peered down irritably from the lectern. I shuffled slightly, as if sitting on pine cones.
Go on?
Said Halcón Rey.
Well, the thing is, we have all been sent on an awful lot of productivity and morale-boosting workshops recently. In fact, they happen almost weekly and everybody has been complaining that, if anything, they take us away from being able to do any real work.
I thought I heard some gasps from behind me.
Halcón Rey Looked at the long dead behind him and then, seemingly bewildered, he looked back out at the crowd below.
It's about working smarter? It's about being... lean.
He slowly stated, he sounded unsure, as if he had done a big shit but the toilet bowl was empty.
I made to answer but someone else interrupted and the moment was gone.
What followed was a queue of chuff- munchers and career types praising the workshops and gushing like broken drains over what we had been told.
Quite suddenly, it was lunchtime. I happily filed out with the others. Once we were outside I fully expected my fellow workers to hoist me up on their shoulders for being a hero and telling the management exactly what we were all thinking.
One of my colleagues, BinJuice approached. I readied myself to receive his adulation. I hoped the congratulatory back slaps didn't hurt too much. Perhaps he would offer to buy me many beers in the pub later? I had better get on to the good lady and tell her I might be a little late tonight.
Boomdawg. You are a dick, shut up and don't tell them that shit. Nod your head and do as your told. It's better for all of us. Fuck sake.
BinJuice stomped away again.
Ah, not quite the being carried around the room on the shoulders of my brothers in arms I was expecting.
Oh well, at least it's Friday!
Hm. Your collegues are remarkably similar to the sycophants commenting on the Trending Page.
Haha. You have a very good point there. Those commenters really get to me. They are so mindless, like a swarm.
You would almost think they all wear identical gray suits.
It's a funny thing but yes, you would!
Poor old BinJuice, he must have to wash that brown nose of his often! Yup, be a sheeple, stay safe, or be a shit disturber, at least you can sleep at night if you are!
There seems to be a lot of it about. Everyone is moaning yet today everyone was cheering for it!
You should realize, most of your comrades are idiots who don't actually care about getting the work done, they just want to get paid. Hence, they appreciate the workshops as a break from the monotony of actually working, and see it as a chance to catch a few z's.
But yes, if you're talking about actual productivity, for people who don't want to kill time, you've got the right idea - they're just wasting your time. In terms of this, I suppose I should quote ... somebody, I've quite forgotten who, who ever so famously said - "You're not killing time - you're killing yourself slowly." Well put, random person whose name I've forgotten, well put.
Lol, yes indeed. I quite like the odd jolly away from my desk but these things are mad exhausting. Group activities and all this wild double think nonsense. I wanna do my job! Ah well, it's the weekend
Dear employee, your input is of greatest value to me as long as it supports my thesis.
Bang on the money!!
Seems like your co-workers are lemmings, willing to follow the drivel as long as they are being paid to do nothing. I used to hate these kinds of meetings as they were such a waste of time. When these do end, things will be right back to normal except the bosses will have lighter wallets...and the huge smiles on the faces of the presenters.
Hehe, yeah, I was googling the kinda
of money that these kind of coffees and presenters often charges and it's mahoosive!!!
Perhaps you should try offering your own service - just inform them that you have a big following on social media discussing these sorts of issues, and point them away from all the posts which insult them, and the Saturday beer reviews , and the ones which make you look bad... and the Thursdays with Uncle Boom...
Ok, never mind, I think I just disqualified your entire blog. Oops.
Yep, I am really glad that steemit hasn't sent idly mainstream so far for that reason! My made up names would only let me partly away with it! Although I have on occasion mixed up the sexes of the people too
Haha! I've always been the squeaky wheel wherever I go, I guess that's why I was exiled from the corporate world. I learned that people more often than not don't like to be criticized by people they feel are beneath them. Damn pedestals.
You know what happens to those in exile though. You've seen the movies, read the books...
They come back wiser and stronger and more determined than ever to kick the worlds ass!!
Yee haw!!
Like Simba! Like Thor! Like the Count of Monte Cristo!
You will be as one!
Like all of those marvelous things!!!
Like all of those marvelous things!!!
Like Simba! Like Thor! Like the Count of Monte Cristo!
Those workshops are balls. The more you can out of the better I say.
They are, utter utter balls. I have learned nothing!
What the hell man, Binjuice? You had spoken out against high frequencies of
the workshops to one of the top guns and Binjuice did not appreciate your concern. He really deserved the nickname, "Binjuice", I suppose. Upvoted!
I think today he really did deserve the name!
LOL hahaha, I had to endure so many of these Friday afternoon "workshops" or "RaRa" sessions when I was a Recruiter. And you are sooooo right. How about not do these lame meetings and let me work, or better yet, go home early, I mean it is Friday. LOL Great post, very relatable! :)
Going home early would have been far nicer!
LOL I bet. haha
Oh, nothing worse than sitting through these mindless workshops. Telling us a different way to do this and that. A month from. Or they will be telling you to go back to how you used to do it. I love he reference to the infamous “ghost poop” LOL
Hehe, you can't bear a ghost poop for the sheer mystery!!
I wonder what committee of asshats (most committees are comprised of asshats in my experience) decided "I know! Workshops! That'll improve everything!"
You'd be my hero! Bunch of pussies around you it seems, lol!
There sure was yesterday!! It was a disgrace!
@meesterboom the vast majority of these training meetings, I do not say all because some really serve, it is a waste of time and money.
Here for the consultants we have a saying "They ask you for the clock, and then tell you the time"
Well done dear friend, someone always has to say what he feels and feels
I wish you a good weekend
Next time I think that someone will have to be someone else! Lol
Typical when your co-workers complain about the boss and when they have the opportunity to talk just shut up and lick the balls lol
Yeah, everyone complains then smiles when the bosses walk by!
You laugh. I was asked as I was the outsider in the company at the time and they were scared of me. The question was " are you on the bus or off the bus?" I hate it when people try and cover their arses when they are blatantly wrong.
Oh I have heard that expression before! Man that's quite popular in shouldn't m Scotland!
This is one of the reasons I can't do corporate. There are too many people worried about their jobs instead of just doing their jobs.
I would love to escape the rat race but sadly am trapped!
Just quit your job, become a gentleman, maybe even try for MP - Uncle Boom's got it right.
Or perhaps try for a bit of detective work? So long as they're not bribing you with new toys and cigarettes...
Or you could just retire and be supported by your wife working as a doula - hopefully he (the client) pays well.
And then again, you could always try selling limequats - I've heard it's very lucrative. Just don't make ol' Willard's mistake - watch out for the butler!
I have considered all of these options. My heart is telling me to go with the limequats ;0)
Big cheese? With that kind of name, I'm expecting a really unpleasant smelly guy!
Those morale-boosting workshops are a waste of time... If you need to increase relations(not sexual ofc, or maybe sexual) i think the best solution is a good old snooker and ping pong table in the office! And maybe some night outs with alcohol to make people relax and develop strong team bonds! And no cellphones allowed inside the office! People nowadays spend their free time on social media instead of talking to the ones around! This is the reason teams don't develop strong bonds and end up backstabbing each other!
Its defo those two. Cell phones and nights out. None of the first and plenty more of the second.
I tried to arrange a night out lately and actually got people going and then the good lady felt ill and I couldnt go. I felt like a shit cinderella
That's why in most college seniors try to put new students having fun and drinking together, they will have to spend from 3 to 6 years together, if they don't support each other and have each other's backs who will!!
Some of my best friends are ones I made while out drinking and having fun!
Me too, in fact all of my best friends are drinky beer friends!
Ok, now I'm hurt.
Also I felt like you're closer to the nameless fellow than that.
(Unless you count discussion on the Saturday beer review...?)
Sometimes I suspect you are the nameless fellow ;0)
I have many amazing online friends too :0D
i think we all need to do a live chat and drink beer while talking over the internet xD We should call it BoomBeerFestival!
nope, sorry, although I do wish.
I have found that his stream-of-consciousness styled blog is somewhat similar to my freewritten, stream-of-consciousness blog, and he does seem like the sort of intelligent, excellent fellow with an impeccable sense of humor with whom I would associate.
Unfortunately he went on a break almost as soon as I discovered him. Hmm, I'll have to try to cultivate some sort of friendship with him when he gets back.
Also, not sure how you have that suspicion, as I've told you before I don't know where in Canada he lives.
Wow!! nice stuff especially when binjuice said the pressing issue on ground, risky but brave
Yes indeed.
Some people are happy to be slave. These types of coward also discourage others who don't like to continue with shit.
They are, it's a terrible thing to see!