Helping others should never be questioned, right? If someone is in need and you notice it and understand the situation, the first thing you would do is to find a way to help. Having empathy is a human quality we all have (or should have). It was formed through the education we got from our families and through our own perceptions and experiences.
You were in need and someone helped you? It was a good feeling that you don't forget quickly, for sure. It stays recorded in our heart/mind and we will act in the same or similar way when we see that we can help.
But have you ever thought about the probability to get involved in a dangerous/suspicious situation by helping others? Or get scammed? Would you still help?
I was thinking about this yesterday evening when I walked down this street, alone. I saw four young men walking towards me and my defence system turned on the red light. What if they take my bag or attack me physically? No one could see it or help me as this street is not very frequented...
Well, nothing happened of course, but it reminded me of the situation that happened in this same street a few months ago. An elderly man was lying on the ground. I stopped my car and quickly approached him to check out if he needed some help. I talked to him, shook his shoulder and then he opened his eyes. He was just very drunk and fell asleep, there where he fell.
Good for him that it wasn't anything serious and he was not injured or sick... but my son, who was sitting in the car, scolded me. Mom, you left the car door open! Someone could have stolen the things from it. That man lying on the ground could only be a distraction if this was a fraud organized by more people.
He was very right! Where was my mind? I acted without thinking...
And what would you do if you were sitting in a hotel lobby and someone approached you and asked you to use your cell phone? It all happened in a few moments, I had my break with a glass of juice and a young man of about twenty sat next to me and asked for my phone. Not for my number, but to use it.
His story was that someone had stolen his phone and that he had to call the bank in Iceland to cancel his bank card. I hesitated for a few seconds but in the end, I unlocked my phone and handed it to him.
Of course, I wanted to help him but at the same time, I was a bit uncomfortable with the situation.
Why didn't he ask at the front desk to use the phone and call his bank? How did it happen actually - and if it was just his cell phone that was stolen why the need to call the bank? Not to mention that it was Sunday and the banks don't usually work on that day. Could I just expect to see him disappear with my cell phone in his hands? Those were the questions that came to my mind in those moments.
I politely asked him to give it back to me as I really had to go back to work (I was just on my break) and suggested sending an email to his bank. Once at home, I told the story to my husband and then we were joking about the possible situations that could happen. I could get involved in interesting situations with the phone calls made from my number. We laughed, but thinking it better, it was not a clever idea to let him my personal cell phone.
What would you do? Please, tell me that you would do the same! 😂
I could also tell him that there is hope of finding his phone as this hotel is famous for objects that constantly disappear and appear again.
Guess what I saw this Sunday 😍
... my little friend is back, until he decides to play hide and seek with me again. 😁
Back to the serious topic.
Most surely, we can rely on our instinct and expertise to analyse quickly the situation and decide whether there is a need to act or not. It all comes through experience and your ability to make the right decisions... sometimes we can be wrong, though.
Do you help others without thinking about your safety? Should we be more careful when someone asks for help?
I don't help strangers although I helped a lot of fellow travelers in the same hostel, at least I've known for a few days. Now, that I am a mom, I am more cautious. I'm scared being approached by strangers.
We as moms have to be more cautious, indeed. I am not scared of strangers but these situations made me think...😅
I brought my e-bike with me. A teenager, who was taller than me approached me if I had a lighter for him to light his cigarette. I guarded my e-bike immediately. LOL
Change all your passwords, now.
I would have helped him, but I was calling the bank, not him. Porque es mi teléfono y es personal. And let him speak into the loudspeaker if it was to tell them to freeze his accounts. Or I would accompany him to the hotel reception to make the call. But Miss Mipiano, you can always count till 10 and think a bit before you act.
Si ves a una persona tirada en el suelo, no debes tocarla, porque no sabes manipular a un herido. Solo llama a emergencias. Es lo que te corresponde. Y además... Puede ser una encerrona, es verdad.
Cómo peleas, aunque ya no es temprano 😂
I know, I was thinking about all of that - later, but when it happened I was just not aware of all the possible outcomes 🤐
I checked at home the number he called... it indeed corresponds to a bank in Iceland 😅
Fíjate si peleo que olvidé a Buda por completo. 🤷🏻♀️
Disappearances and reappearances of Buddha seem very suspicious to me. 🧐
Siiiii, Buda, has visto? 😃
Maybe he brought back that stolen phone, I don't know how and from where he appeared again this Sunday
I believe we should focus not on his absence or presence, but on the message he wants to deliver through those actions.
So what is the message he wants to deliver?
¿Él sigue allí?
Hey...that street looks lonely 😬.
The phone situation has happened to me twice. The first time I didn't even hesitate, it was an old lady who needed to talk to her son, I wasn't the least bit afraid. The second time it was a very young guy who found his car broken down on the street. He asked me for my phone because his was out of battery, I hesitated for a moment, but I gave it to him anyway. Luckily none of it was for the worse.
If I find someone lying in the street I imagine that the first instinct is to help, although I recognize that it can be dangerous... depending on the circumstances in which it happens.
Regresó buda!!! 🤭
I know. It is a "shortcut" that even my husband avoids using when it is evening, it connects the town with one supermarket that is out of it (the only market that was open at the time I went).
Sí, regresó mi pequeño Buda, y espero me trae un poco más de precaución 😅
La necesitas con urgencia 🤣.
Sí?
😬
🤣🤣🤣 no vuelvas a tomar ese atajo!!
Calle prohibida!!! 😂
Mejor así! 😆
Living in Argentina has made me very suspicious... but also things that have happened to me, even on a platform, not on Hive. I have suffered harassment and I don't wish that on anyone. Because of this and other things I am very careful, but it has happened to me to want to help someone and get scammed ... I did that a few months ago... or simply to help morally, to listen and on the other side receive not very nice things.
But yes, I love to help whenever I can, although I take my precautions. Here not so many bad things happen but I learned from Argentina and things remain engraved in my mind.
I'm glad you saw him again .... to the sleeper!
I am really sorry to hear that you had some bad experiences, @avdesing.
Being cautious is probably a must nowadays, but still, we should not stop helping others, always seeing clearly the situation. Our intuition and own experience should help.
And yes, the dreaming statue showed himself this Sunday 😇
Yes, my intuition guides me now, I pay more attention to it and if it tells me that this is not the way, I listen to it.
Many times I don't look or I don't pay attention and I want to help everyone, as much as I can... many times I haven't taken care of myself.
Have a beautiful night!❤️
We should never let our guard down...
Good night to you too 😇
That's right. A big hug!😘
Well, I can understand that you are a bit of an introvert type of person who really can't resist if someone asks for help. Like helping that guy with your phone... Also I would never have asked anyone what happened to them in a lonely place. (That could be a monster and will eat me if I approached).
Well, this doesn't mean i don't help but i see the situation first clearly.
😂😂
hahah, a monster?
Yes, that was something that I wanted to talk about, to see first the situation and act accordingly 😇
Yeah, I have watched it in movies. Lonely night, somebody laying in the middle of the road and a car stops. Hey what happened!! Asks the guy coming out of the car and that somebody turns into a monster and eats him/her. 😵😵💫🫨
Yes all those situations you have mentioned are complicated, I suppose that we act in the moment and after we think what would have happened , I'm very careful with those kind of situations because where I come from we hear all kinds of story that people scam others I agree with you that it is about our instinct if we believe in it what is happening, if I don't believe it I try to be polite and say sorry I can't help you I have to run 😅😅
Buena reflexión señorita Mipiano de de las situaciones peligrosas 😅😂😂
You are right, it also depends on the environment, from where we come from so we should be more or less careful. Oh, yeah, be polite but then run, and I am sure you would do it perfectly as pumas run fast, don't they? 😂😂😂
Gracias, caimanarte 😇
😂😂😂🐆🐆🇰🇾
Helping others is indeed what we all should do, but as you say, there are times when we might need to be careful.
Actually, I have also experienced a similar situation. I want to help, but sometimes there are doubts and fear that I might be in a dangerous or cheated situation. I believe, many of us have felt the same way. 😅
In my opinion, it is important to always consider our own safety. If we feel uncomfortable or feel that something is wrong, it might be better to be careful. As in your case, it might be better to ask the person to go to the front desk of the hotel and ask for help from the hotel staff.
But, on the other hand, we also do not want to lose empathy and the desire to help others. So, maybe we should find a balance between empathizing and careful. 💭
That would be the perfect way - to balance between being empathetic and careful. Including our intuition and time to think and see well the situation - though sometimes there is no time so we have to act quickly.
Hope you guys are doing well, haven't seen you posting for some. Greetings 😉 🎶
In my country, there are many cases of fraud and crimes that take advantage of other people's kindness.
We live in a sad world where everyone is suspicious of everyone, including me. Sometimes when I am out and about I feel uncomfortable walking behind a single female, for no other reason than we are walking at the same pace.
Why am I uncomfortable? because going through my mind is she questioning in her head.
Is he following me? Why is he walking behind me? What is his intentions? Am I safe.
Every man seems to be seen as a predator in the media and in society, manipulation by those pulling the strings; without chaos they cannot control us.
On the flipside. No I would never intervene with strangers no matter what is happening. there are too many "have a go heroes" under the soil in graveyards. If necessary I would call the cops, nothing more nothing less. No I am not selfish, but I have no inclination to hasten my departure to eternal darkness.
Your every word is worth gold! You are so right that there are prejudices that have formed over the years... but we can't completely neglect our experience that was determined by the circumstances or places where we lived.
Also, you are saying a lot of truth about being careful with strangers. Next time I will probably think twice whether I would do the same I did or as you say, call the police or ambulance, so they see the situation better.
Just stay safe, one life, it is precious, always think of your own kith and kin above all else. No, it is not selfish, never feel selfish.
I am very happy that your son was being cautious of the fact that you did not close the car door when you helped the man. Helping people may be very risky and that is why Nigerians do not really like to help others
There is a saying in my language "Crazy and good, born brothers".
I can't even remember how many times I helped strangers in passing... Unfortunately, I don't remember all the situations that ended well, and the ones that remained are ugly memories. Maybe it will be so good that I never forget, even though I have forgiven.
A few years ago, I was parking my car next to a shopping mall in Hungary. Approaching the entrance, I see two men who are transporting large glass panels (window glass) on carts.
The cart falls into the hole with one wheel, bends to one side, and one of them tries to hold the glass plates with his gloved hands.
On this occasion, the glass returns to its initial position, while pinching the fingers of both hands.
Another man runs up, also wearing gloves, trying unsuccessfully to pry the plates apart so that the other man can get his fingers out.
I run up without thinking. Even though I don't have gloves, I don't know the language they speak, I grab the glass panel and with our joint efforts, we manage to separate the panel, so that he can get his fingers out.
But... On that occasion, I cut the palm of my left hand deeply.
The two of them walk away almost without a word, and I am left alone in the parking lot with an injured arm. From the first aid kit in the car, I take a bandage and bandage the cut myself.
This was one situation where I was hurt. Those situations, when I ran out of money, toys, and even a mobile phone, I would not like to recount.
I learned a lot from my mistakes, I wasn't as smart as your little son thinking of possible scenarios...
Oh wow, what a situation, cutting yourself with that glass and they didn't even thank you 😳
Unfortunately, people can be like that, ungrateful.
yeah, there is also the thing when we help others with money and it doesn't finish well. It is good when we can learn from our mistakes, actually, that is the most effective way when we learn it the hard way :D
I always liked Robi! Smart kid. Today, we talked and concluded that it makes no sense to think optimistically about others because we are always getting burned and that everyone should be seen negatively. At least we can be pleasantly surprised if they are fair and honest. There is never enough caution, especially with unknown people.
I know, never enough caution especially with strangers. But somehow I always trust others (and it is not always that we should, indeed) but with the attempts to see the situations in an objective way - neither does this happen in the first moment haha. In one word - there is room to improve my "survival on the street" skills 😁
It is in my nature and my heart to be helpful if I see I can, but the older I've gotten and the more bold and deceiving the criminals have become, I have to admit it makes me hesitate anymore. I have thought many times how sad it is that now you really need to think and assess the situation before you jump in and there could be times when you may think the risk to your personal safety is too high.
Sad, sad....
It also depends on the place we live or where we move, walk, if the neighbourhood is fine or not so safe etc. Also on our previous experience, if we were in dangerous situations or those around us, then we are more cautious already, I think. The world would be much nicer if everyone would stick to kindness and peaceful thoughts 😇