The Sneaky Path

in #life3 months ago

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Have you been to Drumfearne down the harbour? You mustn't miss it, it's lovely.

Stoop, the strange old man who owned the local shop grinned at me in the way that old people do with too much gum and yellow teeth.

I was tempted to ask the old bastard if it was far but caught myself and asked something else instead.

How do we get to it?

I looked perplexedly out of the window at the rain thinking that if it was miles away it could fuck off.

Oh, that's easy. You just follow the sneaky path!

Stoop chuckled and pointed vaguely to the left of the shop.

I glowered at him. My left hand twitched in readiness to give him a smack around the head.

The Sneaky Path???

My voice dripped with sarcasm like a lady of the night's pleasure squeaks.

That's right! The Sneaky Path, out there turn left at the stream and you will see it.

Stoop licked his lips as if he were a dog scenting a butcher's balls.

I grunted and left the shop shaking my head.

The family were outside arguing over what to do in the rain today. I held my hands out like a sailor weighing cabbages.

Guys, today we are going for cake in a cafe down by the harbour!

Really? That sounds like fun.

Said the Good Lady trying not to cry at the incessant rain thundering down on our heads.

Yes indeed. That's what holidays in Scotland are all about, fun!

I lied heartily.

Now, follow me. Apparently there is a sneaky path.

The Good Lady gave me an odd look at if I had been chewing the magic mushrooms again.

I shook my head, a fucking sneaky path. What kind of shit was that?

We were obviously doomed.

And then...

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There really was a sneaky path?

So we followed it.

Through thick ferns.

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Into dark holes.

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Across amateurish bridges.

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Up a big hill.

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Over a stile and not the Harry kind.

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By now I was starting to think that I had to go back and give old Stoop the kicking he so obviously deserved but then...

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It wasn't long before we reached the sea again.

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Miraculously, the sun stayed out for longer than two minutes.

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We navigated through marshy fucking nonsense and rock pools.

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Stopping for a quick bit of art.

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Not forgetting the obligatory rainy beach sandcastle.

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I found a seam of quartz in a big black rock.

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So obviously I had to teach the kids how to smash shit up with stones to get what they want.

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The kids were starting to get gnarly for cake so we quit with the arsing around and continued on the sneaky path.

And what do you know... We found it!

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And the sneaky path came good.

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No way! Stoop actually had his wits about him and knew what he was saying? And his recommendation turned out cool? @meesterboom, this is a new one for you, you never meet sane people. What's worse is you even listened to him and took kids and a good lady off on his words. Now that I think of it, even though things turned out cool you committed a great gaffe. How could you lead people off on the words of a questionable character like Stoop?

When you are on holiday you just go with the flow! Even if that means following the words and advice of a village idiot! :O)

But it all worked out!

Hmm. I find that I can't argue with your point. 😃👍

The sneaky path. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣.
This is hilarious. I can imagine your man in shop checking the sign he made thinking its brilliant and having a good old smile to himself. Them ferns give you some drowning when it's wet.

We got the fern drowning and the beast attacks from flying shit!!

I really thought he was taking the piss when he said sneaky path!

Sneaky path lol, it is like the paths in horror movies, which lead the victims to the killer's hand :)

My first thought when I saw the sign was that this is where people go to get murdered!! Lol

For a momemt, I thought there was no cake at the end of the rainbow sneaky path but there was. It erupted into a happy ending, after all.

The old bastard wasn't as mean as he might have looked.

I think he is related to the woman who owns the cake place. She has the same big horsey teeth and gums!

It all ended quite happily, even more so, the kids are knackered and should go out like a light tonight!! Woohoo!

Probably family then, and horses in a previous life.

Knackered kids is a good thing, at night.

Haha, horses in a past life I think it must be. I like that idea :0)

Yes, if they go down I can get stuck into the beer in the comfy garden chairs and ponder the intricacies of life!

Enjoy! You deserve a moment like that!

P.S. It could also be that they will be horses in a future life ( and that the morphing has already started )

Thats an even better thought. Perhaps we are all slowly looking like those that we will be in a future life! Ooo, this deep, good deep!

Now I am getting worried, my teeth seem to get more yellow these days.

Relax, just think of all that lovely hay to come.. ;0)

Real sneaky. I was expecting a path to some virgin sheep.. or something like that..

Looks like a decent adventure.. not as fun as what I had in mind.. but then again it does need to be G-rated for the children 😆

With the kids there I am kinda glad it wasn't the kind of adventure from my youth! There was more than one sneaky path in them days! :OD

Not the Harry kind! Dude that's fu-hey, hey why are you looking at me like that? Stop doing that.

I am giving you my Harry look. Thats right, the one with the snakey hips... :OD

Hello @meesterboom.
Your photos and explanations are so much fun to enjoy and become like a short adventure.

It seems that you are very good at drawing and the drawing in the sand becomes very interesting for the girl. It seemed that the image had become his.

Have a nice day

Thank you!

The day has been a good one, I hope you don't get too disappointed by my normal style when I get back from holiday :0D

I'm sure you won't be disappointed @meesterboom. !LOL

Everyone will come out of their abnormal side during the holidays and return to normal after returning from there, right?

But, your vacation was amazing.
I'm sure your normal normal day is much better.

Haha, cheers for saying so! We will see. I am almost looking forward to a bit of normality when I get home but I still have a bit of time yet!

Now that is what you called quality time with family. Good day

It was indeed. Any day rounded off with cake is a winner in my book!

Holiday "fun" in Scotland sounds about my speed. But maybe I'm a masochist. How could you not draw giant penises on that beautiful sand, though?

I attempted to draw a giant penis and was soundly told off by the Good Lady. Sometimes she takes life too seriously!

It has been very good, apart from the rain and the insects!

"Miraculously, the sun stayed out for longer than two minutes."

THAT... made me laugh.

Love the photos, but especially the one with the Little Lady standing beside the drawing in the sand. Very sweet!

... and talk about SWEET.... that cake looks divine ! Glad there really was cake at the end of the Sneaky Path.

If there wasn't cake at the end of all that I would have got in the car and driven us all home!!

The sun came out for about half an hour today. I almost got out the sun cream!! :0D

If you were in Glasgow and you asked for directions and the response were ... follow the sneaky path. Things would have likely turned out much differently.

That cake looks almost worth the price of admission!!!

That is very true. The sneaky path is not something you would be following in Glasgow. Not without an army at your back!!

I was quite impressed with the cake, coffee and walnut and it was ace!

ahahah i really like your art! It's really funny !LOL

I have a limited repertoire but it does amuse me!

I'd like to start a diet.
But I've got too much on my plate right now.

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That sneaky path was epic, exactly my kind of walk XD

And the cake at one end looks nice a nice bonus :)

not sure I could cope with the weather though XD

The weather is mad disappointing. I always joke about the Scottish weather being bar but it is terrible. The wettest summer I think I have ever seen!

The walk was great, I have lived all these crazy walks. My only regret is the little boom is too small for some of the higher hills!

Go back when he's bigger XD

We defo will, it's a rite of passage for everyone growing up to be dragged up the hills until they are thoroughly sick of them by the time they are grown up!

At least it ended with cake, a nice story thanks

It did that, which was lucky for the sneaky path or I would have torn it up! :0D

Another grand adventure! What's a little rain anyway?? Perhaps after the young folks pass out you and meesusboom can play a little sneaky path of your own. Funny how those things work out lol. The ephemeral nature of the sand art is now captured for eternity on the blockchain...well played!

Oh....and I want that cake!

Oh ho!! A sneaky path game with the Good Lady should like a splendid idea especially if fuelled by much wine!

The rain is terrible but the cake is good. I think I can live with that compromise! :0D

Let the wine flow and the path be long and winding!

Da wine be flowin! Hope you are having a good week missy!

Thank you so much...I am indeed having a good week tho it would be better with cake hahahaa

YUf in doubt get cake, that's my motto.

As well as beer... And whisky.. or wine. Hell, get everything!! :0)

And thus it was so! :0)

The Good Lady gave me an odd look at if I had been chewing the magic mushrooms again.

I know that look well.

Me too, she has seen me in some right awful states! And yet she is still here! :OD

You got one of the good ones. Tell her some random messed up artist from Canada says hello.

Enjoy the fucking sea!

I will indeed tell her that!!

And that fucking sea, it will be getting enjoyed!!

There really was a sneaky path haha

"Amateur bridge" lmao 🤣

Cool drawings in the sand. Those are great 👍

Cake looks delicious. That alone would be worth the hike.

If it wasn't for the value I don't think I would have bothered!!

It was a great walk. Leaving for another loch tomorrow, apparently the drive is hellish. That will be fun!

Good luck!

Cheers, I will be crossing everything I don't need to drive 🤣

Ah I have to say Boom, when it all works out, it is a glorious feeling. Damn if your holiday posts aren't making me think about trying it again. The last vacation was a 5 grand shit show, so I have been leery.

I have had one of love two of those before. They do indeed put you right of spending a wodge ok a holiday if it has the potential to go pear shaped. Apart from the weather this one has been tops!

I must say that does look like a seriously amateurish bridge.

It was outrageous. I was soaked at the craftsmanship or the lack of it!!

I was out for a walk today and came across this beauty. Thought you might appreciate it!

Hehe, that is a proper amateur bridge! Well, more professional than the one I had!

Ohhhhhh behave man! Not again! Its just gorgeous...

I've forgotten what it's like to walk through long grass and woodlands without fear of stepping on deadly cobra, attacked by a sun bear or eaten by a tiger! It wouldn't be so bad if you actually got to see some of the amazing beasties that live here but you rarely do, you're just shit scared of an invisible adversary!

Of course, you do have midges!

Tight arses like me would have had a tent set up by the sea! I really hanker after a few weeks wandering.

Keep posting please, despite my jealous bitching and best wishes to the family mate :-)

There is nothing like having a contrast to make you think that midges might actually be alright!

At least I don't have to worry about getting done in for real from some satan beast!

The sneaky path!! Of course! After the last challenge, I am not sure I would be doing that again!

See how wrong I was?

Don't get me wrong, but, a wet fern that is whipping as I go by, is only fun if you are pretending to be a swashbuckling pirate looking for your lost ship. But, the cake may push me further. You are totally a great daddy, making sand fun and showing off your geology knowledge. You make learning fun!

And then cake! You win!! Look at that cake!

You can never miss the opportunity to venture down a bona fide sneaky path!

I have created a monster with the quartz bashing though. We can't go five feet now without the kids wanting to smash bif rocks with smaller rocks to get at the quartzy goodness!!

You did create monsters!!! My mother had a great rule she passed down to me. Never do anything more than once that you don't want to live with for the rest of your life.

I live by that rule!

Still, smashing rocks is a bit fun when you are their age! :)

I will remember that rule! Not saying I will be able to follow out but I will remember it!!

It was the only way my mom could keep her 9 children in line. Being consistant.

I ask you, where is the fun in that?????

I'm just going to say it, that giraffe kind of looks like someone was drawing a penis in the sand, then changed their mind and turned it into a giraffe

It might have started one way and just possibly turned out another... 😜

Hello @meesterboom, what started badly ends well, this type of outdoor activity is definitely not your thing, however the children had a lot of fun and the sweet touch at the end is the blueberries on the cake :)
I wish you a happy weekend

The children are loving living in the wild it is only me that is fussing. lol!

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jesus fucking cake I can't wait to be done with this damn diet.
fuck this picture.

Cake is awesome., Diets are the exact opposite!

Cake will be even awesomer when diets are done and I won't have to take a sneaky path to eat it because the cake-eating will be completely sanctioned. No sneaking required.
Ima keep telling myself this.

Sneaky paths make cakes more exciting! You should keep them in!

I will definitely travel to Scotland to take a sneaky path to a cake.

No doubt the path was sneaky. But it is full of new experiences. The drawing you made on the sand is nice and the cake looks delicious.

Bro thats a cool adventure. What a beautiful country to see if i can someday. Sneaky path is cool. You got analogies like a baker has doughnuts lol, love it. Keep em coming. That sand art is pretty good too.

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