I woke up this a.m in a fog. Nothing around me was clear. Glasses, check, rubbed my eyes, common impromptu morning motions but to no avail. I went outside for fresh air before going in complete crisis mode like EYE CAN'T FUCKING SEE! and all it did was get worse.
Now's as good a time as any I guess to try out the Magic Switch. Just got it a couple days ago. UPS dropped it off Thursday, left it against the garage door, we were delivering meals for Love Kitchen.
I fucking hate it when they do that! Assholes. The driveway's a little steeper than most and, instead of climbing the 6-pack of steps at the top of the drive, they lean packages against the garage door where I can't see them unless a camera alerts me or we open the garage door and hear the thing fall over, who tf does that?!? UPS, that's who, bastages! Haven't crushed one with the car yet but that doesn't mean they stopped trying. Determined ass Brown.
"What can Brown do for you?"
Walk up a half dozen steps, that's what!
Don't even walk up all six for fucks sake. Step on the second one, extend an arm and slide it; step - extend - slide / step - extend - slide but no0Ooo lean it against the garage door where no one can see it anywho..
Magic Switch.
They make a couple different ones, each have unique capabilities. I got the one that changes things I don't like into whatever I want it to be. I have a court case coming up, need a jury of 12 puppies.
Delete the fog, please, maybe remove some leaves, too. I don't know, whatever else you think to make it look like April.
:click:
Dayum!
That's even better than I thought, I thought. You know how tech companies advertise one thing and deliver another. Not these guys—bargain at twice the price.
Less mud, I just got these shoes. April, just make it look like April again, please, without the cold. Looks like April, feels like June. ...AANND! A river.
:click:
Take that, A.i.
(I got your word prompt right here)
I received a citation in the mailbox. Naive me didn't know they could do that. The district attorney said they used satellite imagery to zoom in on my license plate, seized some nearby cctv footage of Daddy's G - A Model Female Dog and myself, identified her microchip and yata yata, whatever else they said. They knew all of my first and last names back to 2017, address, eye color, a detailed description of my manicured fingernails which I'll never get over how weird that is, by the way. Year, make and model of the car, et cetera.
Evidence is stacked against me.
State of Confusion
V.
DanDays - The Luckiest Guy I Know
Good morning, your honor, I'm clueless as to what brings us here today. I understand how valuable your time is. With all due respect to both the court and the district attorney, I'd like to make a motion to dismiss all charges against me based on the states lack of evidence. They have no case, your honor.
I side-eye winked at the district attorney; a condescending wink where a tooth sparkles at the same time while stealthy easing back into my seat like I hope you brought a lunch, motherfucker.
Judge Samuel W. Itchiss presiding. He invited the district attorney to present their case. I leaned back in my chair, kicked a leg across my lap and laced my fingers behind my head in a desperate attempt to pretend I was chill when in actuality I'm painfully avoiding laughing out loud.
(Sandwiches, really?!? Sam W. Itchiss LtfOL..)
Your honor, states evidence would like to submit exhibit A; a photograph of a clearly marked ordinance sign permanently affixed to the park entrance in question and less that 40 feet from the defendants vehicle.
He didn't have a chance to return to his seat before I stood up to defend myself. If that's their idea of evidence, I'll be outta here before the parking meter expires.
I see well beyond the 40 feet described by the district attorney in that photo, your honor, and nowhere in it do I see my car the state claims to have witnessed.
The judge agreed. He threw out exhibit A and called on the prosecution to present their next piece of evidence.
State would like to introduce exhibit B, your honor. At the gate entrance the defendant illegally accessed is another posted sign preventing pets and there's the defendants dog, plain as day! She's unmistakably stunning and, if you look closely, she's baiting the states photogra..
Before he finished saying photographer, I popped up faster than a Starbucks to defend myself.
Your honor, would you please instruct the district attorneys office to explain exactly what I'm on trial for. My citation says leash infraction. However, I see nowhere on that sign that mentions leash.
Again, Sandwiches found in my favor, threw out exhibit B—next!
Your honor, before the states case rests, we'll submit our third and final piece into evidence, exhibit C—video. The following footage identifies the defendants dog unleashed whom we've slowed down at the very end of the reel for a clear view of her adorable law breaking face. At less than 1 year old, your honor, she's already heeling within inches of the defendant like a genius.
I must've watched that clip 10 times, she's such a G. Gonna be tough to dispute this one. Obviously that's Atlas and that gimp ass walk next to her is none other than yours truly. Photo evidence is damning enough but video?! I'm gonna need a recess.
Your honor, we need a little more time to study that video. May we please take a short recess?
"Court adjourned," brushing his gavel against the bench and broke us for lunch—1 hour. I got an hour to pull off a hat trick.
I went out to the car, Magic Switch, it's in the glovebox. They got metal detectors at the court entrance so I didn't try bringing it in.
I need a jury that can reeeally overlook some shit! Multiple bankruptcy's, numerous failed business practices, sexual misconduct, fraud, mutiny and whatever else I'm missing. No charge is worthy of a conviction! A jury who'll blatantly ignore video evidence. 12 tunnel vision having jurors of my peers who'll incessantly cling to every word I pull outta my ass.
:click:
Not Guilty!
Interesting piece. I'm not sure what you meant to convey politically though.
I let my dog off leash all the time, too. Leash laws everywhere. Everything is illegal in NYS. First we let them come for our dogs, then we let them come for our children...
As for Trump, I think the recent ruling against him, for inflating the value of his assets, is absurd. Who hasn't inflated the value of their assets in order to secure a loan?! The ruling makes criminals out of almost all of us, and imperils our control over our assets. Beside all that, I doubt there's an actual law that prohibits it. The judge is insane, as Trump said.
I need me a magic stick too. Spent FOUR HOURS being deposed yesterday over a land dispute. Could you please give me a little click?
Oh hell yes, you're my first juror selection for sure! Grab'em by the kitty!!
Sorry about your day. The same one in question with family or something else? Fortunately I can't relate to that one. Seen plenty on the tv though, looks intimidating.
I've had not one but two people recently attempt to police me in public. Not sure Wtf world this is but since when did someone roll alongside like "hey... you didn't come to a complete stop back there!"
EDIT: Can not F'ing believe I just voted my own got dang comment! That's the third time I've done that in the 6 years I've been here.
It happens. Not often. You can change it you know. You want me to downvote it? As someone did for me not long ago when a post I had intended to be a thread on Leofinance showed up as a post on Hive. I'm not going to downvote it
Red flag laws man, red flag laws. Folks are being encouraged to turn in (on) their neighbors for suspected offenses all over the world now. A great tool for tyrants. Don't do it, ever, unless harm, actual harm, is being done to you. So far, no one has said anything to me about my dog being off-leash, but I do get some dirty looks. I also try to take my dog walking in places where there are no other people, lots of those places around here. If you are ever in Brooklyn, check out the off-leash times in Prospect Park. Best dog park in the whole world!
Yes, I have written about this matter before. Same shite - family member against family member - they want a LOT more than we think they are entitled to, and brought suit against us to sell it all off. At one point their lawyer accused me of lying. Our court system is a farce.
I'm so sorry you're dealing with that. I'm pretty pro with death and have already been in one of those probates. Ah, man..
:attention anyone reading this: Just write down your wishes. I know, it's weird, but trust me, do it.
I have since veered off the greenway's myself. I'm so over everyone thinking they're a f*+!<ng hall monitor. Found a really nice park less than 2 miles away with 8 baseball fields. It's perfect. No one is there in the mornings.
Much love, you.
Don't upvote this DanDays, repeat, don't upvote this DanDays.
Ball parks are great this time of year. We use them a lot. I wish they could be (legally) used as dog parks when Little League and whatever are not using them.
Love right back atcha.
I came back again just to look at that swathe of purple flowers.
Eye👁thumb👍candy🍭nail💅, as in, eye candy thumbnail nailed it.
(You saw that, did ya?) Twisted grin.. another sparkly one.
👁️ M 🎞️ 🤗 U 🧠 🧵❗️
😂
I see
I say
Notta
Usually
Mostly
Once
Inastyle
Will
Note
Noticing
Hey buddy 🫂..
So where you been this last while? You know.. I've missed you 'both'.. my friend and his motivational voting pattern lmao. Is there a 'magic switch' for when you're away? All jokes aside, it's great to see you around again + posting ofc.
That would freak me with regards to the garage door delievry thing. Have you told them? I.e. like complained?
That is the most incredible purple flowers. Never seen the front of a property look like that before. We have these little purplish flowers from a succulant ground cover (that's how I'd describe it anyway). They are called 'vygies'. Kinda reminds me of that, though whatever is going on there is next level!
The colouring of that shepard is so stealth like.. looks like an awesome pup!
Was the citation fictional or did you really get one? I got lost in the storyline haha.
It's fiction dude, Trump is just a character I made up.
Whaddup Ma3str0! I haven't mentioned it. Haven't even considered it actually. Great idea! Damn Brown bastages.
Those flowers are special eh? They only do that for two weeks. Really, like 14 days max. Last week of March, first in April. That's it, gone.
Much appreciate you keeping an eye on me, thank you.
It's not you it's me. I'm a big fan of yours, too, really appreciate what you're doing here. Thing is, I'm a super picky eater, right..
My wife's a chef, whad'ya expect? Going to a restaurant with me tends to be embarrassing for those with me. It's not intentional.. my wife's a chef.
I feel like I'm on trial again. <- That was a joke.
I'm a picky consumer is what I'm trying to say. Man, I can hardly do emojis. Can't handle them in a text, I rarely respond to someone who sends me emojis. I think they're, well, anyway....
Please don't take it personally, you've got D and A's support, 👁️ just can't 🤚🏻'L all the ➡️😎 if you know what 👁️ mean 👊🏼.
Hey buddy.. glad you're doing ok. I can't say that I understood it all tbh lmao.. but I'm stoked to here that I've got ur support.. and hopefully I'll figure it all out in due course lol.
I have no idea how many time I've said I swear I don't mean to be cryptic.
I'm guessing you prefer less emoji's.. feedback taken on board if that's the case my friend.
Awesome dog u got there!
Hey sr @dandays can i ask the reason u put me on ignore? Just to know and don't have any troubles in a future. Would be greatfull ur answer.
Much thanks. She's only the greatest addition to the house, ever! = }
It's nothing personal, no hard feelings and all that. I've had to send an explanation like this more than once.
I use Ecency regularly and I think their promote feature is the worst feature across the entire app. I've asked, pleaded, and everything else for any sort of resolution. I've suggested spending Hive, Ecency points, whatever it takes to hide promoted content and, for about two years now, @good-karma ensures me they're working on it. dot dot dot.
I explain myself in detail here about how promoted content possibly hides original content from my view and then there it is again tomorrow, same got dang promoted content, and the next day and the day after that and the day after that, the exact same cover image clogging my feed.
In the meantime, my only solution to hide promoted content whether it's self-promoted or not is to mute the author.
I hope you understand.
Cool.
Hahaha deliveries… I so know. Always in a spot we don’t want hahaha 🤣!LOL
Oef it was early this morning. Traveled yesterday to the States 😎 will be here 2 weeks 🍂🍁🍂🍁🍂
Going back a couple of hours is tough the first 2 days for me.
Hope you all are doing fine, have a fantastic Friday and weekend.
Great second photo… and of the doggy of course 🥰
Hey, where are you?! I'm so sorry if you've mentioned it and I haven't seen yet. I was just telling someone else my consuming lately is at an all time low.
One handed building a deck out back.. My buddy chopped off his thumb at the nail with an axe.. Pura, the puppy, this is the most social media I've done in months.
Where are you?Right now… we are in Portsmouth NH. Until we drive up to Maine… than Vermont and last New York State… 2 week roadtrip around to see the 🍁🍂🍁🍂🍁
No worries, you do you… if you need time off from here and social media so be it 😁😎
You are doing a great job. Looking forward seeing the end result.
Sorry to hear about your buddy. Ouch 🤕
Have an awesome weekend 👋🏻
You're gonna go to Maine before I do? That's some bullsshhh... = }. Please have lobster while you're there. I hate the stuff but they say Maine is the best in the world so I won't cut it out completely until I have it there. @cmplxty, got any recommendations?
How much longer you got? I think the closest I'll be to New York in the next couple weeks is North Carolina but got dang I'd love to enjoy a cup of coffee with you.
You guys enjoy yourselves here. I hope you never feel unsafe or mistreated while venturing my country. Cheers LittleBee.
I do… naughty me hahaha seeing it before you. 🤣😂 !LOL
I have some lobster 🦞 eating planned so that’s a promise I can keep easily. As like you say, you just have to have some lobster while visiting Maine or other seafood.
I got some recommendations from @cmplxty already, we talked about my visit. (Thanks)
I stay until the 20th 😎🎉
Oh that’s still a long way down 😕 but you know what… we will have that coffee one day. This won’t be my last visit to your country. One day.
Will do, we never felt unsafe or unwelcome here… we love it here. Anywhere we visited so far.
Cheers @dandays
Hopefully you get to visit Cider Hill Farm, it's a hop skip and a jump away from Portsmouth :D but do what you want when you're there! Just tossing a few recommendations your way.
Nubble lighthouse is a beautiful lighthouse equally as easy to get to from Portsmouth. I'd say it's about 20-25 minutes and a really beautiful spot. They have delicious ice cream nearby too!
Hope you're enjoying yourselves! Wonderful place and wonderful time of year to be in it!
Yes, maybe we can do that tomorrow… we will see. Today looks like a rainy day but we have waterproofs 😉
Funnily nubble lighthouse was planned for tomorrow when we drive up along the coast to Portland 😁
We are, thank you @cmplxty
Love this season 🍁🍂😊
Have a beautiful weekend your self 👋🏻
lolztoken.com
He was convicted for mass murder.
Credit: reddit
@dandays, I sent you an $LOLZ on behalf of littlebee4
(3/10)
Delegate Hive Tokens to Farm $LOLZ and earn 110% Rewards. Learn more.
It's a date. <3
Deal 🤗
I am inviting myself to the coffee party, thanks.
You've not been to Maine? Well if you do end up going dude, for sure hit me up! The closest we got to Tennessee when we were driving down south was Rocky Mount North Carolina. Not super close but still not too far! I couldn't convince my wife to travel westward more, she didn't like the car ride as it was lol.
Bee and I chatted a few weeks ago! Really glad to see that she's finally over here with her hubs checking out the beautiful fall foliage!
They're definitely here at the right time. Don't trip, when we make it that way, you'll be the second to know.
I think I remember that road trip. I'm pretty sure we talked about you guys going inland but timing did what it does. You're always welcome where I'm at.
Second is better than third, sweet! Lol
Yeah we're going to be heading down that way a little more often, we've found a nice spot in South Carolina that we really like so we are going to probably go back in March for spring break. I would love to make something work out!
Very cool! We are headed to the mountains over the weekend! You might pass right by us, kind of! :D
That’s cool… we might pass each other hahaha 😁
Enjoy your trip!
lolztoken.com
I'm not going to let her enter my tree house without the right password
Credit: reddit
@dandays, I sent you an $LOLZ on behalf of littlebee4
(1/10)
NEW: Join LOLZ's Daily Earn and Burn Contest and win $LOLZ
Ups Problem... Send Pura to take packages 😘 after a while they will bring every packages to the door
Fog... April far away... NO Idea how to solve. Buy pink sunglasses?
Atlas? Courtyard? What did you do "wrong" 🤔 read twice didnt understand
All in one solution: find an island where we all can live ❤️
I ever tell you each time you drop me a line I wonder if we're related? = }
Pura, genius! Do that a couple times and they'll be stopping by just to make sure we don't have anything to send out.
Are you trying to say I'm all over the place? Kinda how I felt
theboth times a complete stranger (two completely different strangers) tried to police me in a public place, "sir, you know what you're doing is wrong, sir, that dog's supposed to be on a leash."Mhm.
As we... No. As I... dont always understand what you are saying - yes! We must be relatives 😂 facing this all the time here in the family house
So it was about the leash. German Sheppard not allowed to run free?
These days a Steffordshire Terrier killed a woman jogging by in Austria. He was on a leash but could run free from it. To byte ist one Thing, but to kill. Wow. Now all these discussions started anew.
Still a Steff isnt at all a Sheppard grown up as family dog. Who am I to tell you.
I get that a lot. Real life is no exception. I'm kept at a distance quite awhile, slowly allowed to inch closer until either they're certain they want nothing to do with me like a Steffordshire bite or I can't shake'em. No gray area.
I did it again, didn't I?
<3
Yes you are very good with 😅❤️
Hahahaha, good one @dandays.
How's it going with you guys, I haven't kept up with stuff the last few months, life has been busy, mostly with really fun family time.
My daughter is having our 8th grandchild in March, really excited about that, my daughter and hubby are over the moon.
How's pura doing? Hope you both are well and happy.
Got a couple of chuckles reading your post, loved the last segment with the trumpsters, such a colorful group.
Have a wonderful weekend, don't forget the leash.
Hello my favorite farmer grandma who knows how this response is gonna start... Sorry to put you through all those cuss words.
Congratulations you guys! I felt the excitement in your text. Ooh! Thanks for the reblog.. Almost forgot.
Kind of you to ask. Pura had a uterine fibroid removed a couple months ago and has since made a full recovery. My hand is probably somewhere around 5% back—I'll take it!
Much love, Upstaters. Stay warm. Give the mister knuckles.
Crap, you guys are really getting hit this year, sorry to hear it. Surgeries always take up tooo much time to recover but unfortunately, it's out of our control most times.
You both have general good health and in the long run that is what will get you over the top, very soon I hope.
Started back in 2020. I'm not even sure what year we're on anymore.
Oh dani boy, life can really suck at times, but ya gotta look forward, never back. Embrace each other, two are so much stronger than one. You are the luckiest guy I know.
Where are you now? We are coming south in the middle of January. Going east coast this time. But Nashville may come into play. I just turned 69 and my juices are flowing for some travel time.
I can dream, can't I?
Be strong brother.
You don't look a day over..
What route are you guys taking? Pura will be in the Bay Area (San Francisco for those unfamiliar with Bay Area) in February which means January is probably wide open.
Things are heating up!
Makes me cold.
I can tell.
I didn't notice.
I can tell.
I can not.
Are you sure?
I must applaud you. You didn't stay down. You spoke and it was heard. That's some high level of respect you've gained.
That virtual pressure on your cheek was me. Really appreciate that. Much thanks.
It sure was! You are welcome 😊
Somebody doesn't have something better to do with their time and money? That's quite the effort to get someone on a leash violation. Jeepers.....
Oh... and I love the changes on the first photo. That's quite impressive.
Jeepers! <- I laughed out loud at that. Even my phone is determined to say keepers. Jeepers, ha - ha - ha. Sometimes it's the smallest things. That's funny.
That was me getting lucky again. The other morning I woke up and, wait.. there's more. The other morning I woke up and the clouds were thicker than I've seen. I had that vibrant purple one from earlier this year and was hmmm... Glad you think it worked.
Thanks for keeping up with me. Sorry I don't get by more often, I want to, pinky swear. I do when I can. Just been so busy lately with my hand slowly returning and slowly getting to things I've been wanting to do, slowly.
I know ! Sometimes a single word can set me off ! I am never quite sure why they are so funny, but they are. I had to pull that out of my old-timey bag.
Jeepers Creepers ! LOL..... Sometimes I am easily entertained.
Waking up is amazing.... right?? I can't get enough of it. LOL
I did like the purple ground cover and the way the tree trunks were in the right side at the back.
Glad your hand is returning... even if slowly. I find I don't want to do anything much until I can't..... ha ha.... The life of a lazy girl.
It is! Seems like nothing really in passing conversation. Numerically, 11,143 is a lot of days. I've slept a solid 10n3/4 years though, I should feel way more rested.
Check this out.
Best laugh I had all week :D
I hope they're dog lovers. Anyone who doesn't give you a hall pass is a socipath (like anyone who doesn't like dogs is, I suspect)
p.s. Ignorance of the law isn't a defence. :) Stick with the doggie eyes <3
Appreciate that more than this, thank you.
Is it just me or is the number of hall monitors out there growing exponentially?
You know you're in my favorites, right? = }
How many times has someone linked you this song?
I had no idea there'd be this many questions, who's on trial now?
<3
Prince?
Oh... you were in my favourites all along.
But now you're in my top favourites :D
Thank you for the music <3
Come and visit, please!
I need to get better at wasting time for sure ;)
!heartdropsparkly
#aislesmok32that
That was a very clever way to sneak in a puppy photodump.
But I did everything to avoid appearing braggy!
Hood ornament, distracting driver, sunset chasing, no mailman, spotty clouds to gauge distance.
:click:
Your dog has her own boat, too??!!!
Congratulations @dandays! You have completed the following achievement on the Hive blockchain And have been rewarded with New badge(s)
Your next target is to reach 26000 comments.
You can view your badges on your board and compare yourself to others in the Ranking
If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word
STOPTo support your work, I also upvoted your post!
Check out our last posts:
I need to get me one of those magic switches! It's pure genius! Look what it did for you! Got you some trump supporters to ambush your hearing and now your eyes are sore lol.... lm laughing too loud for that one!!!
How you doing dude? It's been a while? How is the hair growth coming along?
!LUV
@dandays, @mimismartypants(2/3) sent LUV. | connect | community | HiveWiki | NFT | <>< daily
! help(no space) to get help on Hive. InfoLike watching an ice berg form was the last analogy my surgeon used. He's good, that guy. Still can't hold a pencil but I can hold my phone in the air for a couple seconds now. Not quite ready for a thumb war but progress nonetheless.
Hello, Ms Pants.
It's so strange to me. The whole voting thing and how they think elected officials actually care about them.
!BEER
!BBH
!WINE
@dandays! Your Content Is Awesome so I just sent 1 $BBH (Bitcoin Backed Hive) to your account on behalf of @eii. (3/5)
!LOLZ
!LUV
!PIZZA
lolztoken.com
He was a terrible conductor.
Credit: reddit
@dandays, I sent you an $LOLZ on behalf of eii
(2/8)
NEW: Join LOLZ's Daily Earn and Burn Contest and win $LOLZ
View or trade
BEER.Hey @dandays, here is a little bit of
BEERfrom @eii for you. Enjoy it!Learn how to earn FREE BEER each day by staking your
BEER.!HUG
I sent 1.0 HUG on behalf of @eii.
(3/3)
$PIZZA slices delivered:
@eii(3/5) tipped @dandays